>> >> Fourth Place :
>>
>> A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he >> does, his elbow goes into her breast.
>>
>> They are both quite startled.The man turns to her >> and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast,
>> I know you'll forgive me.'
>> She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your >> elbow, I'm in room 221.'
>>
>> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>> Third Place :
>>
>> One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the >> husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.
>>
>> The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've >> got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.'
>>
>> The husband, rejected, turns over.
>>
>> A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps >> his wife again.
>>
>> 'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?'
>>
>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>> Runner Up:
>>
>> Bill worked in a pickle factory.
>>
>> He had been employed there for a number of years >> when he came home one day
>>
>> to confess to his wife that he had a terrible >> compulsion.
>>
>> He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle >> slicer.
>>
>> His wife suggested that he should see a sex >> therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. >> He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.
>>
>>
>> One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his >> wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.
>>
>> 'What's wrong, Bill?' she asked.
>>
>> 'Do you remember that I told you how I had this >> tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?'
>>
>> 'Oh, Bill, you didn't' she exclaimed.
>>
>> 'Yes, I did.' he replied.
>>
>> 'My God, Bill, what happened?'
>>
>> 'I got fired.'
>>
>> 'No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle >> slicer?'
>>
>> 'Oh....she got fired too.'
>>
>> -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>> Winner:
>>
>> A couple had been married for 50 years.
>>
>> They were sitting at the breakfast table one >> morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting >> here at this breakfast table together.'
>>
>> 'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably >> sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.'
>>
>> 'Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old >> times.'
>>
>> Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat >> down at the table.
'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly >> replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years >> ago.'
'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's >> in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal
===============================================
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your >> turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a >> smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We >> all need to smile every once in a while.
