LordRaven's blog: "Jokes"

A Steeler fan had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, a man comes down and asked the man if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "No", he said, "the seat is empty". "This is incredible", said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sport event in the world, and not use it?" Somberly, the man says, "Well...the seat actually belongs to me. I was supposed to come here with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we have not been together since we got married in 1967. " "Oh I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else - a friend or relative or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head, "No. They're all at the funeral. "

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

An old man in his seventies struggles to get up from the coach, then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, 'Where are you going?' He replies, 'I'm going to the doctor. ' She says, 'Why, are you sick?' He says, 'Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff. ' Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of her rocker and begins to put on her coat. He says, 'Where the heck are you going'? She answers, 'I'm going to the doctor, too. ' He says, 'Why, what do you need?' She says, 'If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm getting a Tetanus shot !!!

I saw you.... Hug your purse closer to you in the grocery store line. But, you didn't see..... Me put an extra $10.00 in the collection plate last Sunday. I saw you.... Pull your child closer when we passed each other on the sidewalk. But, you didn't see.... Me playing Santa at the local mall. I saw you...... Change your mind about going into the restaurant. But, you didn't see...... Me attending a meeting to raise more money for the hurricane relief. I saw you..... Roll up your window and shake your head when I rode by. But, you didn't see.... Me riding behind you when you flicked your cigarette butt out the car window. I saw you..... Frown at me when I smiled at your children. But, you didn't see.... Me when I took time off from work to run toys to the homeless. I saw you.... Stare at my long hair. But, you didn't see..... Me and my friends cut ten inches off for Locks of Love. I saw you...... Roll your eyes at our leather jackets and gloves. But, you didn't see..... Me and my brothers donate our old ones to those that had none. I saw you.... Look in fright at my tattoos. But, you didn't see...... Me cry as my children were born, and have their name written over and in my heart. I saw you.... Change lanes while rushing off to go somewhere. But, you didn't see... Me going home to be with my family. I saw you... Complain about how loud and noisy our bikes can be. But, you didn't see.... Me when you were changing the CD and drifted into my lane. I saw you.... Yelling at your kids in the car. But, you didn't see.... Me pat my child's hands, knowing he was safe behind me. I saw you... Reading the newspaper or map as you drove down the road. But, you didn't see.... Me, squeeze my wife's leg when she told me to take the next turn. I saw you.... Race down the road in the rain. But, you didn't see..... Me get soaked to the skin so my son could have the car to go on his date I saw you.... Run the yellow light just to save a few minutes of time. But, you didn't see.... Me trying to turn right. I saw you..... Cut me off because you needed to be in the lane I was in. But, you didn't see..... Me leave the road. I saw you..... Waiting impatiently for my friends to pass. But, you didn't see..... Me...... I wasn't there...... I saw you..... Go home to your family. But, you didn't see me....... Because..... I died that day you cut me off. I was just a biker...... A person with friends and a family. But, you didn't see me. .... Re-send this around in hopes that people will understand the biker community. If you don't re-send this, all I can say is I hope you never lose someone that rides. EVEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE US, RESPECT OUR RIGHTS TO RIDE WHAT WE CHOOSE AND TAKE A FEW EXTRA SECONDS TO BE SURE WE'RE NOT IN 'YOUR' WAY.... LIVE TO RIDE . . . RIDE TO LIVE