ShowtimeVet's blog: "Jokes of the day"

I could really use some advice, and i know this blog kind of sounds like a mumm, but i just know that my friends won't give me a hard time over some dicky kind of shit like this.....but....what i was trying to get at was this: I want to get back into art and drawing and things like that, but i was just more curious as to what you think gets more attention: figure/body modeling and also in that category is facial profiles (i said "faicals" chuckles). Or, do you think more of the simplistic kind of art work like still lifes, landscapes, and other various kinds of work. Or how about just silly kind of artwork, like lettering or the more professional word for it is "typography", and just kind of out-there kind of art. Which is more appealing? I do want to create some more work, i just don't know which direction i should go? I like all three kinds of artwork, but i was just wanted a little direction on what art has more effect on my peeps and it's more enjoyable to look at?

I saw a billboard that said: "Need help, call Jesus." 1-800-005-3787 ...Out of curiosity I did. A Mexican showed up with a tow truck.

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When i am worried abo getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If i start to get nerveous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door: 1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp 2) There are 10 commandments not 12 3) There are 12 deciples not 10 4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated 5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass 6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C. 7) The Father, The Son, and the Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and Spook. 8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the s**t out of him. 9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass. 10) We do not refer to the cross at the "Big T" 11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "eat me" 12) The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry" 13) The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God. 14) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's I THOUGHT THIS WAS FUNNY!!!!!!!! What do you think?

Old man was walking down the hallway of an old folks home and came to this woman and immediately said "i bet you can't tell how old i am" the old lady replied "i bet i can.... Drop your pants". So the old man thus dropped his pants and stood buck naked in front of her and she said quickly "your 96". The old man, shocked, said "how did you know that, your amazing!" She said "it was easy, you told me at breakfast this morning"

why do women have two sets of lips? Give up??????? So they can bitch with one and appologize with the others!!!!!

i'm really such a dumbass...... i just wanted you all to know that! I posted a blog twice..... i guess i must have really been amused by it lmfao

a dick and a tampon are talking and the dick says you ruin my life one week out of the month, and the tampon then comes back with "yeah well everytime you fuck up, i don't get used for nine straight months"

A condom tells a tampon, "You always stop my business for a week!" The tampon says, "Yeah, but when you fuck up I lose my job for 9 months!"

DID you hear about the insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic? They stayed up all night wondering if there was really a Dog!!!

What if the Indians shot a cat instead of turkey for the first Thanksgiving? We'd all be eating pussy for Thanksgiving!