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I just gotta talk about this.....ok, so shoot me. I'm watching CNN tonight, and I see this story on Anderson Cooper 360 about this high school Junior. He's in history class and his teacher is preaching religion. This is in a public school. For one thing, that's against FEDERAL LAW, not to mention state law. He's telling the class that if they don't believe in Jesus, they DESERVE to be in hell. They played this guy, on tape, on CNN. This is the shit he was telling his high school class. Geeez. So the kid, who Anderson interviewed and who came off as very well spoken and articulate, figures, well my teacher saying this stuff isn't right. True, it isn't. He also figures that if he brought his teacher's "preaching" to the principal, he wouldn't be believed. Very asstute of him, since he's right, he wasn't believed. So he had taped the teacher during class, preaching Jesus, fire and brimstone etc. That's the tape that Anderson Cooper played on CNN. The kid goes to the the principal, tells him what's going on, the teacher is called in, the teacher denies everything. First off, what true Christian is going to lie like that? The kid pipes up, "hmm...I have you on tape dude" (he didn't say dude, but you get the point) The KID GETS SUSPENDED for taping the teacher. I didn't catch what happened to the teacher, but I doubt anything happened to him. Now, what's REALLY off the chain, is that the kid is now getting DEATH THREATS from other Christians in the community, for outting the teacher's transgressions. WTF???????????? Religion is really getting out of hand, me thinks. We have teachers preaching religion in public schools and lying about it, Christians threatening death to a kid, Christians who steal from their employer and then use the "oh I'd never do that, I'm a good Christian and have an impecable reputation to prove it" alibi when they get caught or accused. And we have Christian run companies who have mandatory bible study and prayers during work hours, even if you're NOT a Christian. We have Christians who believe that Jesus and Christianity are the way to wealth and power. We're talking monetary wealth, (like you can really take it with you when you die), and they've already proven they can have political power. (Evidence GWB) We have Christians who suddenly now feel it's vital to try to shove religion down EVERYONE'S THROATS and that it's their God given duty to force all the rest of us to kneel to their way of thinking. I don't get why they suddenly feel so compelled to do this, but I sure don't want to hear it, nor do I want to live under politics which is supposed to be separated from church and state. I don't like religion which changes with the times, because if you DO believe in the bible, you should be believing that God's word doesn't change to fit the times. Evidence the Mormons who always believed that polygamy was an "everlasting covenant" which God supposedly change his mind on just so Utah could gain statehood. Religion is getting way too crazy for my liking. That's why I don't participate. You religious fanatics need to come to CherryTap and have EVERYONE buy you a chill pill.

oh yea!!!

After 10 years of marriage sex with my wife is down to three times a year." "Same here pal. " "As a matter of fact, if mine didn't sleep with her mouth open, I'd have none at all."
One day, an employee received an unusually large check. She decided not to say anything about it. The following week, her check was for less that the normal amount, and she confronted her boss. "How come," the supervisor inquired, "you didn't say an! ything w hen you were overpaid?" Unperturbed, the employee replied, "Well, I can overlook one mistake ­ but not two in a row!"
A grandfather went to visit his college-age grandson at the dorm. Grandpa was astonished to find that his son was living a life of sin and corruption, as shown by the very high-heeled shoe nailed over the doorway. "In my day," grumbled Gramps, "we would hang a horse shoe over the door for luck and then study late into the night hoping to pass our classes." "But grandpa," replied the grandson, "that IS a whore's shoe."

New Rumsfeld Memo

New Rumsfeld Memo Urges Firing Rumsfeld Calls Axing Self Key to Iraq Strategy In a newly leaked memo written my forr Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld just hours before he resigned from his position, Mr. Rumsfeld proposes firing himself as the cornerstone of a new strategy for the war in Iraq. The memo offers fascinating insight into the thought process of the embattled Mr. Rumsfeld, who suggests that victory in Iraq would only be possible if he were canned first. “We must demonstrate to the American people that we are serious about winning the war in Iraq,” Mr. Rumsfeld writes in the memo. “And one surefire way to do that would be by firing my ass.” Mr. Rumsfeld goes on to say that his dismissal would result in “jubilation” among Democrats and Republicans alike, “not to mention Sunnis, Shiites, and Kurds.” The memo offers other intriguing suggestions for shifting the strategy in Iraq, including a proposal to leak a different memo penned by Mr. Rumsfeld every day for the foreseeable future. “By leaking memos written by me, we will succeed in taking the American people’s minds off of how crappy things are going in Iraq and will instead make them see that I was right about everything all along,” Mr. Rumsfeld writes in the memo. While the precise source of the newly leaked memo remains unclear, the document was faxed to major news organizations last night with a cover letter signed by someone calling himself Ronald Dumsfeld. Elsewhere, in a troubling sign for his presidential candidacy, a new poll shows that Iowa Gov. Tom Vilsack has only 8% name recognition among members of his own family.

Saved

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally, God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job. So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job. But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured, and of course, the electricity went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out. Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait! He cheated! How did he do it?" God just shrugged and said...... "Jesus saves!"

Witness

The tiresome jury selection process continued, each side's attornies hotly contesting and dismissing potential jurors. Don O'Brian was called for his question session. "Property holder?" "Yes, I am, Your Honor." "Married or single?" "Married for twenty years, Your Honor." "Formed or expressed an opinion?" "Not in twenty years, Your Honor."

Stages

For those of you about to become first time fathers, you should know something that us old pros do: there are three stages of sex with your wife during pregnancy. During the first trimester, you do it regular style. During the second trimester, you do it doggie style. During the last trimester, you do it wolf style. "What the heck is wolf style?", you ask... That's when you sit by the hole and howl!

Woman Power

There were 11 people - ten were men and one woman - hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go so finally the woman gave a really touching speech saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children, giving in to men, and not receiving anything in return. When she finished speaking, all the men started clapping. Never underestimate the power of a Woman.

Tattoo Art...

A woman walks into a tattoo parlour. 'Do you do custom work?' she asks the artist. 'Why of course!' 'Good. I'd like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of my right thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside of my left thigh.' 'No problem,' says the artist. 'Strip from the waist down and get upon the table.' After two hours of hard work, the artist finishes. The woman sits up and examines the tattoos. 'That doesn't look like them!' she complains loudly. 'Oh yes it does,' the artist says indignantly, 'and I can prove it.' With that, he runs out of the shop and grabs the first man off the street he can find; it happens to be the town drunk. 'Well, what do you think?' the woman asks, spreading her legs. 'Do you know who these men are?' The drunk studies the tattoos for a couple of minutes and says. 'I'm not sure who the guys on either side are, but the fellow in the middle is definitely Willie Nelson!'
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