AVSongbird's blog: "jenna's drabbles"

You know, it’s a sad thing… to see people pass away from this world at a young age, without being able to enjoy the fullest extent of what this world has to offer, of what we have to offer to each other. But it is a sadder thing still to see people muddle through in this world, surviving well into their eighties perhaps, and still finding themselves in the same boat—never really knowing, at such a late age in life—of our purpose here, of what life is really for. I have long mourned the death of my brother at such a tender age, for the former reasons, and I know now, as I knew then, that I will mourn his passing for the rest of my life. But I know now, as I knew then, that he loved me. That was a gift he gave me, the gift of his love, and the gift of his time in this world—and that is a greater present than any one other person in this world can give—for no person can seek to step in and replace another. God was merciful in that way, however some may see it otherwise. We are a flash in the pan—fleeting and beautiful and irreplaceable…. And unforgettable. Some see that as a curse. I see it as our blessing. “No man is an island, whole and entire unto himself”. John Donne was no fool, and however much we try to tell ourselves, after life lessons we think we’ve learned, and saying that we need no one, and will let no one in, because we won’t risk being hurt: be careful. Your walls, the ones you build to keep others out, to become your personal fortress—will become your prison, and you will find yourself in the tallest tower (Hopefully at not too late a stage in your life) that you are looking down upon the people outside, the ones you bitterly imagine have never known pain and are ignorant to such things—and you will find yourself cold and bitter and envious of their happiness, their love. And what kind of life would that bode for you, you in your tower, your heart safe from pain, but walled away from love? I consider myself lucky. I found out early that I was cheating myself, and I realized that I wasn’t being smart, I wasn’t being brave. I was being a coward. Life is not the stature you uphold, its not the money you make or the car you drive. It’s not the people you have under you to daily tell you how brilliant you are and how far you’ve gone. Life is those we share it with—its being the crying shoulder, the loving spouse, the sister, the confidante, the brother, the mother, the father, the child. Nothing more. And when we die, “You cannot take it with you”. Why do you think that is? Because the things we leave behind—the cars, the houses, the bank accounts, the jobs— Are not the things that were really supposed to matter. That’s why, even in hurricanes, tsunamis, tornadoes—ask yourself, what do people miss the most, what do they miss, what do they bless themselves and thank God for still having? Their family, their friends, that are still here. They ask not for the cars or the houses, but the photographs, the memories they made with those they love. So why are we here? Each of us is set in this world to figure it out for ourselves. I think I’ve found my reason. What’s yours?

for the longest time... i thought that I had one of two choices: That I was doomed to be in a series of bad relationships that seemed to get worse each time.... Or that I was destined to be alone. And I was okay with that. Or that's what I kept telling myself. Shut up, go to school, move up north and get a house, a job, and leave it alone, you'll be fine. My life veered offtrack this year, and it took a turn I definitely didn't expect... and you know something? It was the best detour I ever took. On that road, I met a man I am absolutely crazy about, who's brilliant and funny and romantic and loving and giving, and who loves me for me, and makes me feel beautiful and perfect, and for the first time in a LONG time, unafraid to face my future. Look at the new pictures I posted, esp the default-- can anyone fake a smile like that? I know now, that I'll never be lonely again, and I thank God every day for putting that man into my life. He was an unlooked for blessing that turned my heart around and brought it out in me, making me feel again, making me live again, making me love again. He's brought me out of myself, and he's making me realize that I could be so much more than I was allowing myself to be. And for that, and for so much more, I am blessed, and I am grateful.

in this world, you have to hold onto what makes you happy and in this life, there is only one person out there that is a perfect match for us. the journey , the search is long but it makes it all the more worth it when you finally find them, can fall into their arms and look into their eyes and realize that your search for your forever is over

I know way too many really beautiful girls who think they don't look good... It hurts... because it's our fault, guys I mean. We make girls feel like they have to be perfect. You know what I mean, flat stomach, big boobs, round booty, long legs, sexy lips, and on top of all that, they have to dress like a whore, and be one as well... nobody can measure up to that... and its not fair... because nobody should have to. The little imperfections are what make people special. If everyone was perfect the world would be so boring, variety is what makes life interesting. So guys, stop making girls have to live up to your, I'm sorry, our... deluded fantasy visions of perfection. Stop acting like boys and start being men... realize that women don't exist to fufill our sexual desires. Stop talking to them solely to get with them, be nice to them because you want to be their friend, not because you want to hook up with them. Say nice things about them not to flatter them in hopes that you'll get some, but because you know they like to hear them. In short... we need to grow up and stop acting like freakin retarded little boys!

you know its strange. In this life, you come to realize that there are very few people you can really depend on. People come, people go. I've been hurt in my life, who hasn't? The hardest part is learning to move past that point, and finding it in your heart to trust again, to love again. To not let life make you so hard that you shut out your chances to live again, to love again. What do I hope for? to someday have a college education under my belt, to have a yard with a house set right in the middle, and in that house, a family that I can come home to everyday, a family I can love and call my own. To know that someone can love me as I love them, to know that I'm needed. THat's all i've ever really wanted in this life. Money? yeah, we work for it. My grandparents worked all their lives to make it, and I regret that they never really got to enjoy it. No, they weren't rich, but they had their family, and they enjoyed that fact. Most people don't stop and realize what they DO have, and I think that's sad. Within the next month, my parents will be leaving state-- that's something I will have to deal with, because my parents and I, even when we fought, have always been close. They were strict on me, yes, but if they hadn't been, I wouldn't have turned out the way i did. So I am left on my own, trying to force myself to forge a way on my own as they move to their new life. Don't misunderstand. I have my reasons for staying-- I want my own space, and I cannot bear the thought of those dear to me whom I have here (you know who you all are). I dunno why I am writing this-- I guess I just needed to get it out, and sitting here at the computer as I am, I really had no one to vent on, so there it is, in black and white, and I feel all the better for saying it.

Current mood: creative Category: Life As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. > Don't be afraid that your life will end, > be afraid that it will never begin. > ~anonymous~

Current mood: creative Category: Life How to be an artist Stay loose. Learn to watch snails. Plant impossible gardens. Invite someone dangerous to tea. Make little signs that say Yes! and post them all over your house. Make friends with freedom and uncertainty. Look forward to dreams. Cry during movies. Swing as high as you can on a swingset, by moonlight. Cultivate moods. Refuse to 'be responsible'. Do it for love. Take lots of naps. Give money away. Do it now. The mooney will follow. Believe in magic. Laugh a lot. Celebrate every gorgeous moment. Take moonbaths. Have wild imaginings, transformative dreams, and perfect calm. Draw on the walls. Read everyday. Imagine yourself magic. Giggle with children. Listen to old people. Open up. Dive in. Be free. Bless yourself. Drive away fear. Play with everything. Entertain your inner child. You are innocent. Build a fort with blankkets. Get wet. Hug Trees. Write love letters. -SARK

Current mood: calm Category: Life Desiderata Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

Current mood: amused Category: Life 1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you. 2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way. 3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you. 4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you. 5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep. 6. You mean the world to someone. 7. If not for you, someone may not be living. 8. You are special and unique. 9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you. 10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it. 11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world. 12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it. 13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks. 14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know. 15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

Current mood: amused Category: Life 1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you. 2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way. 3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you. 4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you. 5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep. 6. You mean the world to someone. 7. If not for you, someone may not be living. 8. You are special and unique. 9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you. 10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it. 11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world. 12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it. 13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks. 14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know. 15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.