Well everything with my pregnancy has been going ok besides that i have been having contractions constantly. I went into preterm labor at 31 weeks and 4 days and i was in the hospital for 3 days before they finally got it stopped and then after that i broke my foot falling down the stairs at my house but the pregnancy has been ok. well yesterday and lastnight i was feeling bad hard contractions but the baby wasnt moving and usually she is very very active so i got worried and decided to go to the hospital. When i got there the nurse came in and hooked me up to the monitor and shes like well shes got a good heart rate and im like ummm do you not hear that? and shes like hmmmm yeah that does sound a bit strange but shes got a good rate so you should be ok. I kept insisting it sounded weird so she got her charge nurse to come in and listen. The charge nurse was like well im not even gonna lie to you... your baby has an irregular heartbeat. It could mean a number of things. So then the first nurse is like ok well lets check you so she REALLY roughly shoves her hand into my vag and shes like hmm i cant find your cervix.. and im like... what do you mean you cant find it?? and shes like well lay on your fists so i did and shes like ok i got it.. but your only a finger tip and im like.. umm how is that possible i was just 2cm on tuesday and shes like oh nevermind i got 2 in there now your about 2.5. So then shes like well imma hook up and iv and give you some fluids. Im gonna try to get it right here but if i cant then ill try on the other hand and im like uuhh no your gonna try where your most likely to get it because your only gonna stick me once! so she did and moved it all around and it hurt so bad. I dont think she knew what she was doing at all! Anyways so the doctor wouldnt even come in and listen to the baby himself or do an ultrasound or anything. (i havent had one since 20 weeks) he just said that its probably a heart murmor and they cant do anything untill shes born and if i feel like something is going wrong i should come back, but im so scared that something could happen to her in there i mean how am i supposed to know if shes ok or not i cant see her! i would rather have her out so they can watch her and make sure shes ok, but they want her to stay in. I mean its her heart her .lifeline.. its not like she has an extra toe or something. Im so fustrated and scared and im just ready for her to be here so i can hold her in my arms and make sure shes ok!
