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->Its been a year already

So its definitely been a year now. Im not even sure where to start. You were my best friend..You helped me through everything. You lived a great life and i really dont understand at why such a young age you had to go. Apparently god had bigger plans for you than any of us did. I remember talking to you end about stupid things and mindless subjects. Its so hard to live without you. it really is. What am i supposed to do when usually feeling like this i run to you and now i cant? i feel selfish for not talking about you much. But at the same time its still really hard for me to deal with it. I cant face the fact that your gone, i cant do it. Its so hard for me to live without you. But i strive to be the person you wanted me to be. I just wish you were here to see Madisyn grow up, and do all the fun things with us that we planned on doin. It hurts. The last time i spoke to you, before IT happened, you asked me to marry you. I wasnt sure if you meant it or not, but either way i said yes. Jeff you ARE my best friend and no one will ever replace you wether your here or not. You will always hold that spot in my heart. You made me feel so needed in life..You were someone that i know i cant live without and its really hard to do so. I wake up every morning just wanting to hug you..or hear your voice.. i need you so bad right now.. i need your comfort,support and advice.Theres so much going on, and theres so much i want to tell you and wanted you to see..You were the only father figure Mady had and she loved you.I kno she misses you just as much as me.Shes gonna be 2 in 20 days.shes getting so big..I hope that where ever you are now, your happy and safe. thats all i have ever wanted for you in life. I love you Jeff, and you will never be forgotten.. I Promise. Remember your my long lost lover :) I love you Sweetheart
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