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1197554's blog: "Plot-Two"

created on 10/18/2007  |  http://fubar.com/plot-two/b142829

It was like lightning.

My favorite kind of lightning happens sideways, and 'bleeds across the sky.' So thinking of that image, I thought about what it would be like if you could look at the sky at night, and affect it with your heart. I used to sit on my back porch, looking out at the woods, just to think. One night I was really upset about things, and I felt like screaming at god. I didn't make any noise, I just gripped the railing and tensed everything and I just...screamed out...and it made things worse that nothing in the sky changed, at all. The moon didn't move, the stars still kinda stared at me expectantly. It felt like an insult.
Slash the night, Without blade, and without bullet. Not with what is held, But Heart. Those misfires give you power - Watch it bleed across the sky... My favorite shade of A Beautiful Destruction. Hope it Strikes down, And I wish that you could see it. Hope it Strikes down, Though I know that you don't need it. Hope it Strikes down, Because the beauty you're not looking for You've buried in a gown. What screams can tear? The silent, the obscene. Not with what is known, But pain. These dark days solicit power, Raining doubt down on your voice. You're trading hopelessness for faith Making Dreams Inside A Vice. ...A Beautiful Destruction...
I'm doing all right I guess. My worst fear is that the things that make me feel different from everyone else, interesting, special, more introspective...those are the same reasons that I feel the way I do. I say it all the time: I love who I am, I really do. But I'd be lying if I said that I felt truly happy. What kills me is that most people that I see who look truly happy? Have stopped thinking. They've bought into a system of no answers, of no resolutions, of no unified agreements....it feels like you have to give up searching, to be happy.

I'll never stop searching for who I am.

Mood:Not sure.. Music:None.
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