But you knew that already. There was in the before time, in the long, long ago (my younger years) when a lack of a social life and a lackadaisical attitude toward homework afforded me plenty of time to watch television. Most of it was sports, cartoons and even the Weather Channel. I could view the radar loop for hours. Ahhhh.... But I also enjoyed scripted dramas and sitcoms. You name it, I probably saw it over many seasons: Cheers, The Jeffersons, Dallas, Miami Vice, Sledge Hammer, Growing Pains, War of the Worlds. The abundance of fun yet relatively unintelligent programs more than made up for my social ineptitude in my formative years.
School, developing a career and forming some semblance of a personal love clearly degraded my TV-adoration time over the years. Now I carefully pick which shows to which to pay close attention for the duration. Much of my viewing habits nowadays revolves around "smart TV" -- real "reality" educational programming such as History Channel, Discovery Channel, C-SPAN, in addition to ESPN and Cartoon Network (read that: Adult Swim). So very few of my other favorite programs are scripted dramas and serials.
The most frustrating thing keeps occurring though: Dumbass network executives, devoid of patience, courage and innovative thinking, ax daring shows all too quickly because of relatively low ratings. Last year "Invasion" left us hanging with a good cliffhanger after its first and only season. This year "Jericho" launches on CBS with a bang. The post-nuclear war drama then suffered from a lame-brained decision by executives: Let's go on a three-month hiatus! The show lost momentum with viewers. Dramatically it got better in the final weeks, culminating with a blazing, bloody battle with guns literally firing upon the fade out on the season finale. Well, it was the SERIES finale. CBS axed it due to low ratings.
"Jericho" may not have been the best, most exciting show around. It may not inspire water-cooler talk like "Lost," "Heroes" or "Gray's Anatomy," but its premise and mysteries demonstrated more chutzpah and entertainment value than most dramas and comedies that have cropped up in the past 5-10 years. Which brings me to this point: Modern-day TV in America is dead. It's bad enough human beings have only tapped into a fraction of potential and power of the brain. Executives, and most producers and writers no longer even utilize their right brain. Most shows these days are simply a convoluted, tired spin on plots and characters churned out long ago.
What's with ABC these days, with the touchy-feely dramas set to adult-alternative-album music? "What About Brian?" Yeah, what about him? "Brothers and Sisters." Didn't ABC try this not too long ago with fathers and daughters? "October Road." More drivel about the middle-class, new/old relationships and "finding one's self." "Notes from the Underbelly"? Why? Eh, I liked these programs better when they were "thirtysomething." Yeah, remember that one?
Take a swipe at new shows premiering this fall. CBS will have "Moonlight" (no, not "Moonlighting," which was cool back in the day), a "romantic thriller with a new twist on the vampire legend." What, you mean sort of like Lifetime's attempt to be hip yet sort of "scary" with "Blood Ties" -- or dare I say are more sedate version of "Buffy"?
Oh God, CBS will also have "Kid Nation," a new reality series where 40 kids try to build a new society in an abandoned ghost town. Really. Sounds a little like "Children of the Corn." Sounds more like a disaster waiting to happen. Like the kid who craves attention rigs the election to become mayor. Or the kid who is obsessed with everything glamorous - with Bratz, Britney and some really scary parts of the Disney Channel - and decides the town has too many efforts dedicated toward education and not enough effort for shopping centers. CBS, just send the kids into the soon-to-be-abandoned "Jericho" set. You'll at least save some money that way.
NBC will have the new dramedy "Lipstick Jungle," from bestselling author Candace Bushnell ("Sex and the City"). It series involves the lives of three high-powered who are determined to achieve their dreams and to do it on their own terms. Dude. Let me rev up the recorder. So, it's "Sex and the City" without ALL the sex?
Plus, apparently there will be THREE separate shows about tech geeks (not that there's already a cable network dedicated to geekdom, but anyway) and new reality game shows involving MORE frigging karaoke and even hip-hop dancing. And what are those loads of hourlong crap "Are You Smarter Than a Middle Schooler" (which I hope not for all our sakes) and "national bingo night"? Oh God. The apocalypse is definitely upon us. And there will be more shows on cops, doctors, lawyers. Let's not forget a show based on the Geico commercial cavemen. Really. And we're still stuck with "The Bachelor"?
What have the networks decided NOT to put on air this new fall season? A show about zombies. A show from the creator of "Arrested Development." A show based on the flick "Mr. and Mrs. Smith." But they'll probably never see the light of day. I simply pray for writers and executives to think out of the box and be more creatively ambitious. Look at some of the sharp shows that have lived fruitful lives at cable networks. And it's not because of the sex or violence. It's because of the characters that interests. It's because of the actors that are riveting and talented. It's because of the dialogue and plots that are fun, smart, a bit humorous yet realistic and jarring. Until then, I bid farewell to "Jericho" and will return to that radar loop on the Weather Channel. Oooohhhh....ground clutter!
