* You wake up face down on the pavement.
* You went to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there
aren't any.
* You put your bra on backward and it fits better.
* You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
* You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the
city.
* You see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office.
* Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
* Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
* You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then you realize
that you don't have a waterbed.
* Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a
group of Hell's Angels on to the freeway.
* Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache.
* Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
* The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.
* You wake up and your braces are locked together.
* You walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of your
pantyhose.
* Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
* Your income tax check bounces.
* You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your
business.
* You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
* Your pet rock snaps at you.
* Your wife says, "Good morning, Bill," and your name is George.
