Matron Fang's blog: "isn't it amazing"

Well the good news is that my son is finally completely better and that the danger he was in has passed, he has miraculously come through everything stronger for it and is a very happpy and healthy almost three year old and my fears that I will loose my remaining child have been laid to rest. I lightens my heart to know that we all came through this only slightly scathed by the experience and that perhaps I can get back into the swing of life again where health is concerned. On the flip side, my nearest and dearest friend who I have known for half my life was killed in a fire on Sept. 1st and I am just now getting to the point where I can talk to my friends again. She was known here on Fubar as Darkest Descent and her two beautiful daughters are soon to be officially part of my family per her will. They have been struggling and very sad needing a lot of TLC and attention so that is a good part of why I have not been here much. Blythe you are sorely missed beautiful lady! SORELY MISSED.

Many of you may have noticed that I am not on much here lately and I just wanted to give you a brief update as to why. My son has been very seriously ill and has been in and out of the hospital here lately with various very severe sicknesses that have had to be monitored by medical staff so I have not been home very often, my life has sort of become the hospital and being with my son. He has been through a great deal of tests poor thing. At 2 1/2 yrs old he has been in the doctors more than many people I know have been in 30 years. Bear with me and know that I am still here, just very occupied with getting my son better. The tests for the major diseases like Sickle cell anemia and all the cancers and such have come back negative and we are waiting to find out the results of something called Fabry's disease .. crossing my fingers it's not that either. Blessed be!

Friend do it this way - that is, whatever you do in life, do the very best you can with both your heart and mind. And if you do it that way, the Power Of The Universe will come to your assistance, if your heart and mind are in Unity. When one sits in the Hoop Of The People, one must be responsible because All of Creation is related. And the hurt of one is the hurt of all. And the honor of one is the honor of all. And whatever we do effects everything in the universe. If you do it that way - that is, if you truly join your heart and mind as One - whatever you ask for, that's the Way It's Going To Be. passed down from White Buffalo Calf Woman

It is amazing how resistant so many people are to just 'going with the flow' these days even with the obstacles that stand in the way of doing that; stressful jobs, stressful home situations, loneliness, sorrows, regrets, misunderstandings .. the list could go on but what so many people have lost touch with and in turn lost their true selfs and the strength that comes with it .. is that life flows whether we want it to or not and we must learn from it, it is the teacher of change. I do not try to place my beliefs on others but in all of my being I know to be true that what we give out into the world is what we will receive back times 3. if we regret, our lives will be full of regrets, if we send out hopelessness then our lives will become wrapped with it. If we strive to stay strong within ourselfs and own or regrets and change our hopelessness then we will have transformation for the better. This is not an easy thing to do, it means choices, it means losses sometimes as well but for personal betterment above all.. for how can you expect the betterment of the world around you if you do not find the balance of betterment within yourself.

The very word judgement is like a vampire .. it pulls away the very lifebreath of happiness and self. One who judges, who does not see that what they say is really judgement but truth, sees no truth in their own lives and are often the ones that judge themselves the hardest. Life is a balance of both good and bad, without bad we can often overlook the goodness in our lives and become complacent in the negative, becoming lost in it and seeing no clear path which could lead us back to the illusion of happiness that most people build in their own mind. A better job, a better home, more money, more and better group of friends etc etc.. but those things are illusions unless we stop making judgement on others and also on ourselves. Being better in yourself does not neccessarily mean more money, better things .. that is the illusion consumerism(sp) casts upon us. It is wonderful to have our little gadgits and our fancy cars and flashy homes .. yet what do we really have if we think that is what we are meant to have and if we do not have it we are lowly and are not 'right with the world'? Release Judgement of others and of yourselves to find the path to what you truly want and need and you might be surprised where it leads you .. again, not an easy thing... but it is attainable never forget that all things of true meaning are attainable ... as long as you stop judging yourself unworthy of attaining them.

The Seven Sins of parenting an only child.... 1. Overindulgence - both material and Emotional .. now even those with more children have to admit that they did both with their first child, it seems impossible not to just because they are new to you, they become your world, they help you get your life together if you were having trouble doing that before they came into your life. Keep in mind though that this can spell disaster in the future especially if you end up with other children or if you learn moderation early on it can be managable. 2. Overprotection - Now in these days and age it is hard not to be overprotective of any children you have be they your only or amongst several in a brood. But you also have to keep in mind that children who are hampered in their confidence building early on because their parents were very overprotective, often end up with social issues and anxiety as they get older. Protect, know where they are and what they are doing but don't breath down their neck, there is a happy medium in there. 3. Failure to Discipline - This of course ties into our ability and willingness to face confrontation dispite the common dislike of doing so. The steps you need to work on to make sure you discipline with kind firmness is: Learning the importance of limits, building a better(meaning more personalized) way of discipline, discipline equal to their age group and avoid discipline anxiety for both you and your child. 4. Overcompensation - We often overcomensate with our first/only children because we end up feeling guilty about some discipline or limitation we've placed on them, the best way to deal with this is to look at the guilt and see what it is really based in and also avoid overcompensating at all which is a very hard task to accomplish. 5. Seeking Perfection - Ok we all do this, place our hopes and dreams on our child, especially if they are our first/only. We envision them as doctors, or pro fottball players or whatever else OUR dreams manifest and though it is alright to want those things for your child, putting undo pressure on them because we think what we want for them is the best thing, can end in disaster and can destroy or at least badly strain the parent/child relationship in the long run. 6. Treating your Child like and Adult - This can be hazzardous in many ways but the most prominent being that we affectively steal their childhood and their time to learn and go, explore and enjoy as they should. Although the bright side to this is that an only/first child who spends a substantial amount of time with adults, doing adult things will be more relaxed around teachers, job interviews, meeting new grown-ups but to have this they will loose out on their ability to identify with other children and though they are more likely to be able to take care of themselves if the need arises, they will feel less like a loved child than they should. 7. Overpraising - We've all done this as well I'm sure. We have praised our only/first child at every accommplishment that we deem worthy of it and that is usually a lot because we are kept so anamored by our first/only child that everything they do is a cheerable incident. We tend to over-glamorize every little thing even those things that we shouldn't because this is the first and only time we will really be watching an infant offspring's progress. This creates unrealistic expectations. An only/first child who is overpraised can become a praise addict and do just about anything for praise or, if our issue is giving material praise, expect a toy for everything they do. We have to learn to praise without attaching the expectations or further praise or material things. None of these "Sins" are easy to overcome but it can be done with patience and a little ingenuity! Hope this gave you something to think about and that it can be helpful to those who need it, I know it helped and is still helping me!

Why is it hard to say no? IT JUST IS. most of us don't like confrontations and would rather avoid them at almost any cost. I know there are some I would for sure. Faced with an argument our blood pressure goes up and our palms begin to sweat. Confrontations simply are not fun, especially with a toddler or child. Everyone enjoys watching other people enjoying themselves, and if the happy person is our own child the pleasure is more than doubled. Yet having a good time can sometimes be dangerous and we have to draw the line somewhere. We all have excuses why we don't want to push the matter with our children, we don't want to sound like our parents, we know they are tired and confronting them and saying no I don't want you to do that will likely trigger a tantrum or pouting spree... the list could go on but you have to put aside any feelings of guilt, loss of control, our own depression issues and find a way to be firm and yet not cruel to our children when we know they are getting into or doing something that could endanger them. Althought saying no and disciplining a toddler triggers a lot of emotions in ourselves, we have to learn that our guidance and the way we present it will shape the way they think of life into their futures. As scary as that idea is, it's nothing less than truth.

How many time can you ask is he/she really the right one for me? How many ways can you investigate the ups and downs with a person before you determine they are NOT the right one? For some people it takes no time at all and with others, it took the tragedy of my daughters loss for me to truly close the book. I suffer from incurable hope. Most times that is a good thing and it has seen me through a great many dark places in my life, but it has also caused me trouble. I know there are many people out there that feel judged and possibly persecuted by people for the way they are or for bad choices that you have made in your life and it is a sad sad fact that many people do judge because of those things but when should hope and chances be set aside to make sure that you have a safer and better life than the one you are living? When is enough enough and how when hope is sometimes the only thing that has kept you going, do you set it aside to be free of a hard life and pick up the pieces of you and your remaining child to have a good LIFE instead of holding to a stale/stalled one? If anyone knows... please let me know

Isn't it amazing how fast people are drawn to a sexy body and good looks? I proved a point here on my page when I posted the pic that I did and got lots of hits and comments about how sexy I am and such but if any of them knew anything about fashion or modeling which I personally don't get into much .. they would have known that unless I'm Cindy Crawford in disguise.. that can't really be me. I am sure when I post the real me the comments will be less and the "googling" pretty much nil but that only proves my point further. Be who you are.. be strong and secure in yourself and looksism won't bother you too much but it is still something that hurts and it is a shame that it still has such a grasp on the population.