Nferia's blog: "Irish ~*~ Things~*~"

Lura, the Countess of Killarney, was on a world tour with her husband, the Count. They were staying at an Intourist hotel on the edge of the Ural Mountains and were scheduled to begin an escorted horseback tour of the area early the next morning. Lura had developed a good tan a month earlier on the beach at Nice, but now she noticed that it was beginning to fade. Not having anything scheduled after lunch, she took a blanket and wandered off in search of a secluded spot where she could touch up the tan a bit. Unfortunately, Lura failed to realize that at high attitudes the rays of the sun were much more damaging than at sea level. Even worse, she fell asleep. She awoke, feeling rather uncomfortable. Dressing gingerly, she limped back to the hotel to have her husband assess the damages and the prospects for the morrow. After one look he delivered his verdict: .... "Tour all Ural, Lura? Too raw, Lura. Lie." The Irish .... An English-piquing people

An exotic animal collector finally was able to complete his collection with the acquisition of an juvenile member of a very unusual species called the Rarie. The animal looked like a furry, round ball, with feet on the bottom. However, the collector did not know much about this creature, especially how much it would grow. And it grew. As the Rarie grew, it ate more and more. And it grew at an alarming rate. The small animal enclosure had to be enlarged, and enlarged, and enlarged. All too soon, the size of the creature was becoming alarming, and the amount of food consumed was straining the collector's budget. Finally, in a state of desperation, he took the animal in a dump truck to the edge of a gigantic cliff with the idea that he would drop it over the edge. Just as the collector was getting set to roll the animal out of the truck, the animal popped open an eye and looked at him and asked, "Whatcha gonna do now?" The collector explained how he could no longer afford the upkeep, and that dropping it over the cliff would be a humane way to get rid of such an expensive liability. The animal looked over the edge and with a tear in its eye, it said, .... "It's a long way to tip a Rarie."

During World War II, the captured Allied agents of Stalag 15 were attempting yet another daring prison break. On this particular night, Major O'Roarke and Lieutenant Flanagan were chosen to try to cut their way through the bars of the East gate. They were hard at work when the siren sounded, and the floodlights caught them in the act. As the German officer led them away, O'Roarke said, "We were so careful. How did you ever catch us?" The German replied, "It's very simple. Somehow, I can always tell .... when Irish spies are filing."

In the end, there are only two things to worry about: either you are well or you are sick. When you're well, there is nothing to worry about. But if you're sick, then there are two things to worry about: either you get well or you will die. When you get well, there is nothing to worry about. But when you die, then there are two things to worry about: either you'll go to heaven or you'll go to hell. When you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. But when you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends, you won't have time to worry! SO WHY WORRY!?!

May the road rise with you.

Give me a few friends who will love me for what I am, and keep ever burning before my vagrant steps the kindly light of hope... And though I come not within sight of the castle of my dreams, teach me to be thankful for life, and for time's olden memories that are good and sweet. And may the evening's twilight find me gentle still.

Wishing you a rainbow For sunlight after showers— Miles and miles of Irish smiles For golden happy hours— Shamrocks at your doorway For luck and laughter too, And a host of friends that never ends Each day your whole life through!

May God give you... For every storm, a rainbow, For every tear, a smile, For every care, a promise, And a blessing in each trial. For every problem life sends, A faithful friend to share, For every sigh, a sweet song, And an answer for each prayer.

May love and laughter light your days, and warm your heart and home. May good and faithful friends be yours, wherever you may roam. May peace and plenty bless your world with joy that long endures. May all life's passing seasons bring the best to you and yours!