Here's the skinny...well...in my case the hefty...but I digress.

Welcome to the page, yeah it's shitty. I hate overloading profiles with graphics, GIFs and all that other bs. I got a decent comp to use but not everybody does, I'm not tryin' to freeze up your browsers people. Anyway, let's get on with the intro.
----------
Psych. No intro. Anything you wanna know, ask. That's why messages and chat exist. Stop trying to find everything out about me without even contacting me, that's stalker/serial killer type shit. One thing I will share with you is something, in my opinion, you ought to know a little bit about beforehand

NOTE: Just a heads up, as it turns out you CAN find out some scattered details about me in my other sections. Why? Because I'm too lazy to edit them, besides after being such an ass to you right off the bat I'll need somethin' to keep ya hooked.

Stages of getting to know me
Stage 1. I don't care. Presumptuous? Yeah, but also very damn true. I don't now, nor will I ever care. This entails your drama, drama you try and smother me with and everything in between.

Stage 2. I could care less. Congratulations, you've managed to make it past my initial lack of giving a fuck and have become relevant, however the same rules as before remain in effect and should you attempt to break them you'll be returned immediately to Stage 1. Like an old school video game, no save or checkpoints, start from the beginning.

Stage 3. I don't give a fuck. This is actually a good thing despite the off putting sentiment it traditionally portrays. This means that rather than ignore and write you off completely, I'll actually hear you out when you vent frustrations, etc. This is not an invitation to test your limits, many a potential companion has been demoted to Stage 1 from this level if not utterly expelled from my memory banks.

Stage 4. I care. After wading, neck deep, through my distance maintaining barrier of shit you've emerged unscathed, albeit a bit ripe. This is the point where at anytime of day for the most random, illogical and/or mindless reason you can muster, you can come to me and I'll be there. Anything you need that I can provide is pretty much yours whenever the time comes.

Bottom line? I can be the best friend you ever meet if you prove yourself to be worth that level of kindness. I know I'm sarcastic, I know I'm distrustful, I know I'm jaded, I know I'm neurotic at times but above and beyond everything else I'm a bleeding heart, occasionally to the point of naivete. Some people need more than just a second chance and 9 times out of 10 I give 'em 6 or 7.
----------

Good for you if you read all that. 10 points extra credit, a gold star on the board and a smiley face on your paper.