143699's blog: "INSPIRATION"

Relief, Peace, well-being, joy and better relations with others will be possible if we practice mindfulness in our everyday life. I am convinced that everybody can practice mindfulness, even politicians, political parties, even the Congress. This is a body that holds the responsibility for knowing the nation's situation well, and knowledge of this kind requires the practice of looking deeply. If our elected officials are not calm enough, do not have enough concentration, how can they see things deeply?

To meditate does not mean to fight with a problem. To meditate means to observe. Your smile proves it. It proves that you are being gentle with yourself, that the sun of awareness is shining in you, that you have control of your situation. You are yourself, and you have acquired some peace.

If in our daily life we can smile, if we can be peaceful and happy, not only we, but everyone will profit from it. This is the most basic kind of peace work.

“If we are too busy, if we are carried away every day by our projects, our uncertainty, our craving, how can we have the time to stop and look deeply into the situation-our own situation, the situation of our beloved one, the situation of our family and of our community, and the situation of our nation and of the other nations?”

We really have to understand the person we want to love. If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love. If we only think of ourselves, if we know only our own needs and ignore the needs of the other person, we cannot love. ~Thich Nhat Hanh

(...con't) The other common code of conduct that we hear of in the Pagan community is "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Love is the Law, love under will." This comes from Aleister Crowley, from his book entitled The Book of the Law. Now knowing some of the things that we do about Crowley, it's almost humorous to think of him in a discussion of ethics, except to point to what not to do maybe! However, this is a very powerful outlook on developing your own set of personal ethics. In my understanding "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Love is the law, love under will" does not mean you may do as you wish and that is it. It is speaking of your TRUE will, your TRUE purpose in life. If you are following your true or higher will and purpose you will not come into conflict with another's will so therefore you do not have to worry about stepping on anyone else's toes. So you don't have to worry about harming another because you are in touch with the divine, and you are following your own spiritual path and will, which will not cause harm or conflict with another. Of course, we still have conflicts with people. One way to look at this is as a spiritual lesson for either you or the other person. If you are seeking to control another or harm another, this is not your true will. This is based upon the belief that every person is an individual, and as an individual you should be true to your own nature or consciousness. You must find your true will and make all of your actions subservient to the one great purpose. This again leads to conscious living. If ethics are codes of personal and community conduct, then etiquette is a code of social conduct. Etiquette is defined as - the practices and forms prescribed by social convention or by authority, forms of conduct prescribed by polite society, code of correct conduct, also decorum denotes conformity with established standards of manners or behavior, the forms required by good breeding, or prescribed by authority, to be observed in social or official life, observance of the proprieties of rank and occasion, conventional decorum, ceremonial code of polite society, rules governing acceptable behavior. Just like Emily Post and polite society, we in the Pagan community have behavior that is expected from us in how we interact with that community. In my opinion, etiquette is something sorely lacking in many Pagans. They are not taught certain things about how we interact with each other. This could be because maybe you didn't have a teacher, or your teacher didn't know them either. Or it could be because you or those who taught you just didn't care, it wasn't important to them. I feel that etiquette is VERY important. It keeps us civilized, it aids us in how we interact, and it shows the outside world that we know how to act. Beyond the mundane world and it's social etiquette, lets take a look at some things that are common among Pagan paths, especially the Wiccan path. 1. You should never touch someone else's magickal tools and items without their express permission. If you see something you like and want to touch, then ASK. Don't just hold out your hand for it, or just pick it up. A person leaves an imprint of their energy on what they touch, and they may not want someone else's energy on their magickal items. This includes athames all the way to stones and jewelery. Do not take offense if you ask and are told no. 2. The way you live reflects on our whole community. You should always respect others, no matter their path. Inside your own religion there is a certain higher respect given each other, as Children of the Goddess. This comes from a basic understanding of the hardships of the path, and the process we all go through in some way to evolve. It can be equated to any secret society and its initiation process and path of self-discovery. This path is not for everyone, and if you take it seriously, will change your life in ways you could never imagine. Any path that causes growth can be difficult. We link with others that are going through the same thing we are and take strength from and learn from them. 3. We endeavor to hold ourselves to a high standard of living our spiritual lives that the mundane world does not. Therefore we support each other, lending a hand when the pitfalls of the world come about. 4. When someone gives of themselves to teach or guide, we recognize that person's giving, and respect it. Not all of us are called to teach, and those who are offer a valuable service that should not be taken for granted. 5. When you are called to teach or guide, you have been given a very serious part to play in your community. You should never abuse it in any way. It also does not mean that you may use it as a way to gain power over, or look down upon any other person. We are all where we should be on our path, and it does not mean a thing that you have 10 or 20 years of service and someone else has one. We are all equal in the eyes of the Gods. If you are a teacher, you are held to an even higher state of conduct. You must never involve yourself in anything that could cause harm to your students or to the Craft. You should never do anything that would bring a bad light on us. For instance, you should never become romantically involved with one of your students. You should not condone the use of illegal drugs, or alcohol if the person is not of age. You should not use your position to control your students, or make them dependent on you. The goal is to aid a person on this path. You supply the seed as a teacher. You cannot take them by the hand and learn from them, or be easy on them when you should be honest. 6. In that same light, those who would be considered an elder in our faith are given a large amount of respect. The wisdom that is gained from following this path for 10, 20 or 30 years is an asset to our community, and we should respect the Elders of the community for what they have learned and what they teach us. 7. Due to the advent of the internet, there is a phenomenon growing among new seekers that is very disturbing. It involves not understanding the hard work it takes to learn the Old Ways, or the dedication and self sacrifice those who follow, and especially those who teach and guide give to the path. From this lack of understanding, new seekers think they can go to any page on the net, learn what they can and be done with it. It also leads them to think that they can ask for what they want, and someone will just hand it over. For example, I have been asked to send someone a copy of my BOS. This shows me that the person requesting this has no idea of what a BOS is, what it stands for and the process that is gone through to acquire it. This is flat out rude to begin with. This person is wanting their religion hand fed to them. They want to skip the hard work, the dedication, the pitfalls and the trials, and get right to the reward. This is simply not how it's done. This person wants the secrets and mysteries handed to them on a silver platter, without having to leave the comfort of the computer chair and work for them. This isn't possible. I am here to say STOP. Be mindful of what you are asking. You can't go to the net, read a page or two, then go ask someone for their BOS, or even ask them to teach you. There must be effort on your part. You are not an adept after reading a page, or a book, or even ten books. The mysteries cannot be handed to you on a silver platter and you are a master of the universe. This is what I call lazy Wicca, and through lazy Wicca you will never come to experience the mysteries because they come through dedication, hard work and a personal dedication to the Gods. 8. Those who are out of the closet must NEVER give away the secrets of their brothers and sisters. You should never give any personal information. You should never tell the secrets of a coven, who it's leaders are, who the members are or any other information. We must honor our vows and protect those who for whatever reason have chosen to remain hidden from the eyes of the world. 9. For those who are out of the closet, your life and your actions must be above reproach in the eyes of the world. As an open pagan, you may be the only one that a non-pagan every sees. They will see every Pagan in you. So in all things you must be truthful. You must live with dignity and honor. In our discussion of ethics and etiquette the point I was trying to impress upon you is this: We have become a society who thinks that we may do as we please, act as we please, and there are no consequences. We fight with the Christians. We complain about how they fight amongst themselves. We sneer at them when they point to another of them and say how that person is wrong and they way they practice is wrong. Yet, WE DO THE SAME THING. When I meet a fellow priestess, I treat her with respect as a person, and doubly so as a priestess, since I know how hard that path can be, to have dedicated your life and your service to the Gods and the Old Ways. If I meet someone who has been walking the path for 20 or 30 years, I respect that person because of the knowledge they have obtained in that time. That is not to say my 10 years is less, or they are 'more spiritual' than I am. It is saying that this path is not an easy one all the time, and to have lived it every day for that amount of time is deserving of respect. I was taught as a child to respect my elders, and I believe that is still a valid lesson. The elders of this path can teach us things that we have never even thought of. At the same time, as an elder, you should always remember what it was like to take your first stumbling steps on this path and how you may have longed for some guidance. It is just as wrong to be an elder, and act as if you know everything, or someone who is only 20 or whatever age could never be a spiritual person. We all must remember our ethics and etiquette, and encourage each other every day. We have forgotten to practice our personal ethics, and have thrown etiquette out the window. We have forgotten Emily Post and Miss Manners, and have gone on about our merry little way to fight like cats and dogs without even offering basic human respect for those with diverging views, and this troubles me. It is a plague that is infecting our community. The Witch Wars continue. We struggle to make our way the right way, even if we don't realize we are doing this. We forget the very basic teaching that we are all connected and that all paths are valid as long as they fulfill our spiritual needs. Let us remember our ethics. Let us live our lives with honor, treating all of life with respect. Follow your own path, without interference into another's. Work hard, study hard and receive the blessings of a life well lived.

I dont necessarily endorse or not-endorse the following, I'm merely sharing this article, feeling that it gives a good background to pagan ethics, and as always, I sumbit this as a springboard for discussion, if desired. Pagan Ethics and Etiquette When we speak of ethics and etiquette in relation to paganism, what are we referring to? Are we speaking of outdated rules and actions that no longer have meaning and we only give lip service to? I don't believe so. Ethics and etiquette are living, breathing codes of life, shaping our actions in relation to each other, and ourselves. They are a guiding force in the way we live our lives. Let us first look at ethics. Ethics are defined as - a set of principles, moral philosophy, rules or standards governing the conduct of a person or the members of a profession, human duty, a particular system of principles and rules concerning duty - whether true or false, rules of practice in respect to a single class of human actions, motivation based on ideas of right and wrong, the philosophical study of moral values and rules. When we begin to speak of ethics, we need to realize that this can be a very touchy subject. We are human after all, and we want to think our ethics are the correct ones. While there are generally accepted community ethics, it is personal ethics that make up who we are, and these are not the same for each person. Before we begin to discuss in depth community and personal ethics, let us first look at the Rede, the most common code of conduct among Wiccans. Bide the Wiccan law ye must, in perfect love and perfect trust; Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill; "An ye harm none, do as ye will"; Lest in self-defense it be, ever mind the rule of three; Follow this with mind and heart; And merry ye meet and merry ye part. Every Wiccan knows the Rede. Our passwords into the sacred circle are in here. Our major rule of ethic is here, along with the reason for breaking this ethic, as well as the consequences of breaking it foolishly. When we extract the line most popular - "An ye harm none, do as ye will" and begin to dissect it, we have to wonder "Is this an ethic we can ever achieve?" I believe the Rede is a standard of living, like all ethics, and one that is an impossibility to achieve. The goal is to live as closely to the Rede as possible. In the attempt to do this, we begin to analyze our actions. We follow the path of LEAST harm. Thus, we begin to live conscious of our actions, and how they effect the world around us. Here comes the REAL lesson of the Rede: It forces us to have personal responsibility. Once you have acknowledged that the Rede is a goal to work for and not a given situation and have taken of the blinders that let you go around smug and happy that your religion is so sweet it makes your teeth itch, you can get down to the work of making your life an ethical one. What this involves is considering each decision in the light of the Rede before you decide upon a course of action. You do this by looking at all the possible consequences of that action and whether that will cause harm to any, choosing the path that causes the least harm and, (THIS IS THE KEY) accepting the responsibility for the consequences of your actions whether intentional or unintentional. -Lark, HPS of Tangled Moon Coven. Wicca, as well as most Pagansim, is a religion and spiritual path of personal responsibility. We strive to live in an aware state. When we do this, we recognize our free will and the free will of others. If we ignore the lesson of personal responsibility, we fail to realize our true spiritual potential and our true spiritual will. As we begin our path, we must develop a set of personal ethics, while maintaining a respect for the ethics of the community we are becoming a part of. Some community ethics are very well defined. -Don't practice black magick, or follow the left-hand path. -Don't attempt to harm another or interfere with their free will. -Always act in a way that will reflect well upon your path. Never do anything that will bring harm to the Craft. Since Wicca and pagansim are very open paths and for the most part do not seek to make anyone follow "ONE RIGHT WAY," most of the ethics defined by community are concerning harm to others and harm to the Craft. To begin a spiritual path and to follow it every day of your life, you must develop your own set of personal ethics that define the way you live. No one can tell you what your personal ethics should be. Your teachers, mentors, HPS, HP can all recommend both in word and deed, ethics that work for them. You may be given a 'Book of the Law' that governs your group or tradition. If you are a solitary, you may read on the net or in a book, acceptable codes of conduct or ideals. You cannot take someone else's ethics and make them your own. You must do some soul searching, and decide how you feel about things. Now I am NOT suggesting that you ignore your HPS or HP or your teachers and mentors. I am suggesting that you should always temper wisdom with personal experience. You must come to a point that you are willing to question what you are taught, to grow in your own self. Through this, your own sense of ethics and morals will come. Now, here comes the biggie. What do you do when your personal ethics are in direct conflict with accepted community ethics? For example - it has become a phenomenon in the pagan community to love everything white and full of light, and shun everything dark and full of shadow. It has become unacceptable to speak of negative emotions like anger and envy. It has become unacceptable to feel hate towards another person, wish that a murderer would get the death penalty, which that rapist would get castrated by a bunch of angry women. Some of us fondly refer to this a fluffy, bunny Wicca, no offense to anything fluffy, or bunnies. We are taught to love unconditionally because we are all brothers and sisters, connected to each other and every living thing. We are taught that if we experience these emotions, maybe we aren't all that spiritual, and especially not as much as Miss crystal love and light. We are often looked down upon if we say something like "I am so damn mad at my ex husband I could smack him." The response I myself have heard to such comment is "My my, now THAT wasn't very positive." Well, guess what. It WASN'T. Now I am not saying that you should indulge in these emotions. They can be deterrents to developing a sound spiritual identity because they are 'negative' in the sense that they are base emotions that do not vibrate on the spiritual plane, but they also teach us lessons that can lead to spiritual epiphanies. Life is a balance between light and dark. Nature is both beautifully creative and frighteningly destructive. Inside of a single human there is light and shadow, and to be totally balanced we must learn to face both, experience both and therefore learn from both. So back to the original question. Let's say you don't feel that you are evil if you feel anger at another person or what have you. What do you do when community ethics conflict with your personal ethics? In my opinion, as long as what you are doing does not come into direct conflict with the good of the general community, or does not manipulate or purposefully harm another person, then your personal ethics should come first. You should not do something maliciously to another person. When you do this, you are not only harming yourself, but you are harming that person, AND the whole of the community. It is very important that our community not be sullied, and the reasons are obvious; but beyond this, your personal ethics should prevail. Do ethics change over time? Do you think that the ethics of our ancestors of 100, 200 or even 1000 or more years ago are the same as what they are now? I believe that ethics are a revolving and ever changing system. Some become outdated, and some we should always keep. For instance, it has only been in the recent resurgence of Pagansim in the last 50-60 years or so that the belief of "An ye harm none, do as ye will" came about. In times past, a witch who could not curse, could not heal. Societies have not always believed that you should not harm another person, or that interfering with someone's life was a bad thing. The old wise woman of a village was sought out for every reason from fertility, to love, to revenge. It has been in our time only, with the resurgence of beliefs and the discrimination that we face that we have adopted some of the common ethics we now have. I am NOT saying this is wrong, or that we should go back to the 'Old Ways.' In a society that we now live in and the information that is available for spiritual purposes, there is no longer a need to seek out the crone of the village and ask her to grant you revenge on your enemy, but this is the perfect example of how ethics change with time. At one time it was ethical for old men to mate with young girls. In our culture, it is no longer ethical. So ethics change and so they should. Change is the only constant in the universe, and without it, we grow stagnate and our lives become filled with rot and decay. Change blows in new life to help recreate our lives, our beliefs and yes, even out ethics.

All religions began with somebody's sudden flashing insight, enlightenment, a shining vision. Some mystic found the way and the words to share the vision, and, sharing it, attracted followers. The followers may repeat those precise and poetic words about the vision until they congeal into set phrases, fused language, repeated by rote and without understanding. Cliches begin as great wisdom - that's why they spread so fast - and end as ritual phrases, heard but not understood. Living spirituality so easily hardens to boring religious routine, maintained through guilt and fear, or habit and social opportunism - any reason but joy. We come to the Craft with a first generation's joy of discovery, and a first generation's memory of bored hours of routine worship in our childhood. Because we have known the difference, it is our particular challenge to find or make ways to keep the Craft a living, real experience for our grandchildren and for the students of our students. I think the best of these safeguards is already built into the Craft as we know it, put there by our own good teachers. On our Path, the mystic experience itself is shared, not just the fruits of mysticism. We give all our students the techniques, and the protective/supportive environment that enable almost every one of them to Draw the Moon and/or Invoke the God. This is an incredibly radical change from older religions, even older Pagan religions, in which the only permissible source of inspiration has been to endlessly reinterpret and reapply the vision of the Founder (the Bible, the Book of the Law, the Koran, ... ). The practice of Drawing the Moon is the brilliant crown of the Craft. But notice how often, in the old myths, every treasure has its pitfalls? I think I'm beginning to see one of ours. Between the normal process of original visions clotting into cliche, and our perpetual flow of new inspiration, we are in danger of losing the special wisdom of those who founded the modern Craft. I do not think we should assiduously preserve every precious word. My love for my own Gardnerian tradition does not blind me to our sexist and heterosexist roots. And yet, I want us to remain identifiably Witches and not meld into some homogeneous "New Age" sludge. For this, I think we need some sort of anchoring in tradition to give us a sense of identity. Some of the old sayings really do crystallize great wisdom as well, life-affirming Pagan wisdom that our culture needs to hear. So I think it's time for a little creative borrowing from our neighbors. Christians do something they call "exegesis;" Jews have a somewhat similar process called "midrash." What it is something between interpretation and meditation, a very concentrated examination of a particular text. The assumption often is that every single word has meaning (cabalists even look at the individual letters). Out of this inspired combination of scholarship and daydream comes the vitality of those paths whose canon is closed. The contemporary example, of course, is Christian Liberation Theology, based on a re-visioning of Jesus that would utterly shock John Calvin. Although our canon is not closed - and the day it is the day I quit - I'm suggesting that we can use a similar process to renew the life of the older parts of our own still-young heritage. So, I'd like to try doing some exegesison an essential statement of the Craft way of life. Every religion has some sort of ethic, some guideline for what it means to live in accordance with this particular mythos, this worldview. Ours, called the Wiccan Rede, is one of the most elegant statements I've heard of the principle of situational ethics. Rather than placing the power and duty to decide about behavior with teachers or rulebooks, the Rede places it exactly where it belongs, with the actor. eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill: AN IT HARM NONE, DO WHAT YOU WILL. I'd like to start with the second phrase first, and to take it almost word by word. Do what YOU will. This is the challenge to self-direction, to figure out what we want, and not what somebody else wants for us or from us. All of us are subject to tremendous role expectations and pressures, coming from our families, our employers, our friends, society in general. It's easy to just be molded, deceptively easy to become a compulsive rebel and reflexively do the opposite of whatever "they" seem to want. Living by the Rede means accepting the responsibility to assess the results of our actions and to choose when we will obey, confront or evade the rules. Do what you WILL. This is the challenge to introspection, to know what we really want beyond the whim of the moment. The classic example is that of the student who chooses to study for an exam rather than go to a party, because what she really wants is to be a doctor. Again, balance is needed. Always going to the library rather than the movies is the road to burnout, not the road to a Nobel. What's more, there are others values in life, such as sensuality, intimacy, spirituality, that get ignored in a compulsively long-term orientation. So, our responsibility is not to mechanically follow some rule like "always choose to defer gratification in your own long-term self interest," but to really listen within, and to really choose, each time. DO what you will. This is the challenge to action. Don't wait for Prince Charming or the revolution. Don't blame your mother or the system. Make a realistic plan that includes all your assets. Be sure to include magic, both the deeper insights and wisdoms of divination and the focusing of will and energy that comes from active workings. Then take the first steps right now. But, beware of thoughtless action, which is equally dangerous. For example, daydreaming is needed, to envision a goal, to project the results of actions, to check progress against goals, sometimes to revise goals. Thinking and planning are necessary parts of personal progress. Action and thought are complementary; neither can replace the other. When you really look at it, word by word, it sounds like a subtle and profound guide for life, does it not? Is it complete? Shall "do what you will" in fact be "the whole of the law" for us? I think not. The second phrase of the Rede discusses the individual out of context. Taken by itself, "DO WHAT YOU WILL" would produce a nastily competitive society, a "war of each against all" more bitter than what we now endure. That is, it would if it were possible. Happily, it's just plain not. Pagan myth and modern biology alike teach us that our Earth is one interconnected living sphere, a whole system in which the actions of each affect all (and this is emphatically not limited to humankind) through intrinsic, organic feedback paths. As our technology amplifies the effects of our individual actions, it becomes increasingly critical to understand that these actions have consequences beyond the individual; consequences that, by the very nature of things, come back to the individual as well. Cooperation, once "merely" an ethical ideal, has become a survival imperative. Life is relational, contextual. Exclusive focus on the individual Will is a lie and a deathtrap. The qualifying "AN IT HARM NONE," draws a Circle around the individual Will and places each of us firmly within the dual contexts of the human community and the complex life-form that is Mother Gaia. The first phrase of the Rede directs us to be aware of results of our actions projected not only in time, as long-term personal outcomes, but in space - to consider how actions may effect our families, co-workers, community, and the life of the Earth as a whole, and to take those projections into account in our decisions. But, like the rest of the Rede, "an it harm none" cannot be followed unthinkingly. It is simply impossible for creatures who eat to harm none. Any refusal to decide or act for fear of harming someone is also a decision and an action, and will create results of some kind. When you consider that "none" also includes ourselves, it becomes clear that what we have here is a goal and an ideal, not a rule. The Craft, assuming ethical adulthood, offers us no rote rules. We will always be working on incomplete knowledge. We will sometimes just plain make mistakes. Life itself, and life-affirming religion, still demands that we learn, decide, act, and accept the results. Judy Harrow

These Eight words the Rede fulfill: "An Ye Harm None, Do What Ye Will" "And It Harm None, Do As Ye Will" or "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law, Love is the Law, Love under Will." I relate the Rede to the Golden Rule "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" and the folksy "What goes around, comes around." I also relate it to multiplicity, in that what you send out is returned to you magnified according to the intensity of what you put out. The use of the number three (what you put out shall be returned to you threefold) that Gardner introduced is symbolic of multiplicity and not an actual number. I also believe that people who are trained in the magical arts or are simply highly aware are held more accountable to this universal law, since they cannot claim they "didn't know the gun was loaded". In other words, if you are fully aware of your actions and the consequences then you will reap the reward or the backlash. On the other hand, a child or a mentally challenged individual would not receive the same degree of backlash for something they did that they did not fully understand the ramifications of as someone who did. The Rede does not only apply to doing magic, it applies to everyday life and is a way of life. If you are kind you shall receive kindness in return. The Rede is a way to express the concept of Karma. Someone taught me this wonderful expression: "what is begun with love ends in beauty, what is begun with deceit ends in pain" and that wisdom extends to the Rede as well. However, some people take it too far and live in fear of doing anything because almost anything you do could be stretched to create harm to someone or something if you try to account for every possible variable and get silly with it. I don't believe it should be taken that far, even the most gifted cannot extrapolate the consequences of their actions beyond a certain point. That too is the nature of the universe...that we cannot see too far down the road. It will let us see what it wants us to see. So I believe that in living your life and doing magic that you do what you will in so far as you can tell that it will not purposefully create harm to someone or something else. Aleister Crowley developed the rede from the Law of Thelema in it's modern form. Gardner used it with his own slant and Doreen Valiente made it prettier in her poem. Ultimately, however, I believe that it came from the Gods, the Universe, the Source or whatever words a person chooses to use to express the concept of ultimate divinity. Regardless of the actual wording, this concept of cause and effect is not a new one. From the Christians to the Buddhist to the Wiccans to the Pagans; the concept of the Rede exists in one form or another. Despite the prevalence of this message, there are many witches and magical practitioners who either do not consider the Rede valid or do not interpret it the same way as myself and most Wiccans do. The focus for those who interpret it a little differently seems to be on the Will but even then I have read that they believe the True Will is inherently good and not capable of doing Harm. Of course there are also other factions who take it differently again. Ultimately, most people agree that if you are hurtful to other people, by word or deed, you will get the same (or worse in return). Wiccan or not, Pagan or not, this concept holds true throughout the world and throughout our lives. Whether or not you accept the Rede and its threefold nature is your choice. Just remember, you will always catch more flies with honey... Earthmystry

When we come into contact with the other person, our thoughts and actions should express our mind of compassion, even if that person says and does things that are not easy to accept. We practice in this way until we see clearly that our love is not contingent upon the other person being lovable. ~Thich Nhat Hanh