maybe i am incapable no ? of loving like i did before ... maybe all the things accumulated over time have fucked me so bad that the part of me that allowed it to happen is gone ..eaten away by the maggots attacking and ravaging the dead tissue , almost like i feel nothing, but i do feel, i just never feel complete, i hate it so much to feel that way.i think what i really want i to not hurt or be hurt anymore .. obviously everyone wants that but it seems like thats always what i get .. oh shit here i go rambling again huh ...anyways i told my friend sean about the bs that went on at that party the other night and i thinkthats what got me started ... what the hell goes through peoples minds that makes them think its ok to just take what they want from people even if its a violation of who they are how sick .. i dont feel safe anywhere . i used to be this strong little bitch.. id kick anyones ass if i had to fuck chris whos 4 times my size always said hed fucking have me watch his back over a bunch of his friends anyday .. i cant even push some drunk loser off me cause i fucking turn into some fucking blubbering goddamd chick wtf. i hate the person ive become... ive lived out of my car ive lived on the street what the fuck more do i have to do before life gets better? shit fuck this .. god damnit im going to bed
