The Big Bad Wolf's blog: "In the mind of The Big Bad Wolf"

There was a time when a kind word was all I need to set my heart a blaze. But time is funny that way and oh how things changed. We grew apart, or at least one of us did. Now your name is spoken in past tense with a tense past. I hear from you ever now and then, asking me to give in again. If only you knew that just seeing you around is enough to cut me to shreds. I know things for you are long since dead, even though I will always love you. So with heavy heart I put my quill to the parchment and sign my name. With shaky hands and faultering spirit I make my way down. A few feet from the mail box my knee trys to buckle. I must be strong and let things lie in the grave they are buried in. The scars you gave were as bad as those you received even if you dont see how deep they run. With a few simple signitures, it is once and finally done.....

So I spent the better part of last night stiching up my mothers dog, because we live in the country and there are no vets open past like 5 pm. Sadly enough it was MY dog who attacked her dog. My dog is a pit and has never attacked anything or anyone in her whole life. Now im stuck trying to figure out if I risk keeping her. If it was just an isolated action. Im afraid that now she has gotten a taste for blood she is never going to be the same loving dog that I cherish. I dont know what to do. I feel so helpless. I was barely able to save my mothers dog so it was serious attack. But today my dog is acting like nothing happened. Ive been raised around big dogs and dangerious animals my who life and in any other case I would have sadly put the animal down. But I truely love my pit and I just dont know what to do. Whats worse is that because I live up in the mountains in a town full of tweekers my dog is my only friend up here. I would break my heart to have to put her down, and I would be totaly alone.... It makes me think of the last pit I had. He had to be put down because of a botched sergery and it killed me. I had only had him for 10 days. Ive had this dog for 6 months and saw her often when I would visit my mother before that. I just dont know what to do. do I wait and see if she attacks something again...Or do I put my heartbreak aside and put her down on the chance it would be safer for the house hold? I really wish I had someone up here I could talk to. I dont know if ill keep my sanitiy without my dog, she is the only thing up here that brings joy into my life. God I wish there was a clear answer...I feel alone already just thnking about it.

Have a pretty shitty day, month come to think of it so I just thought I would share how I feel. FUCK THE WORLD AND EVERY FUCKING PERSON IN IT! Thank you and have a nice day.

So a quick note for those of my friends that were worried they havent heard from me in a couple days... I just got out of the hospital. I was down for almost two days after passing out in a bad snow storm, me and a friend from fubar I had flown out to see. The docs say the hypothermia probably saved my life in the end. We are both ok, just shaking off the ice still. ill be home after the 7th. Take care all.

How do you explain to a four year old child that the only reason you havent seen him since he was six months old is that his whore of a mother had kept him from you? How do you explain to a four year old that his mother uses him as a bargining chip, tell you "Yeah you can talk to your son but I want money first." How do you explain that its not that his daddy doesnt love him with everything he is, simply that he has had no choice in the matter? These are the questions I asked myself tonight after crying. My step mother called me tonight and says. "Your son has been noticing all the other kids being picked up by their fathers at day care and he is starting to ask where his daddy is." How so you explain to that little boy that his mother uses his daddy's family against him to get what she wants. That she uses men like a credit card to get what she's after? I am so lost right now. Dying inside because ive tried so hard to reach out and make contact with him. But the only time his mother allows me to talk to him is when she wants something from me. How do you tell him that its not daddy's fault, its the simple fact that his mother is a gold diggin whore and is only intrested in what can be given to her. How am I supposed to hold myself togather when its been so long between phone calls that ive reserved myself to that fact that I wont see him again until his 18 and showing up on my doorstep asking what the fuck happened. Then out of the blue his mother gets a wild hair up her ass and actully wants you to talk to him. She has used this scam on me so many damn times. I just dont know what to do anymore. Ive cried so many nights. I hurt everyday because of the situation. I feel like I have to hold myself to keep my heart from falling out of my chest and smashing to peices on the floor. So if anyone can asnwer any of those questions please let me know, because it might be nice to have some answers about this situation for once. As it stands im lost in the darkness without a light.

All I have to say is one very simple quote. "Havent you heard that im the new cancer. Never looked better and you cant stand it." If you get it good, if not to bad.

So this is very simple I finally found someone that makes me happy and for someone reason a lot of my so called "friends" have a problem with that. Well you know what FUCK YOU. Im sorry that for once in the last 9 months or so I am truely happy and some of you cant handle that. I have been through far to much to keep you hating ass people around. I deserve to be happy and if you dont like it let me know now so I can just cut you the fuck out of my life. Some people I know this does not apply to at all, there are a few people I have no qestion at all when I call them my friends. This is truely for all those fake ass posers on my friends list. Im going to start deleting people in the next day or two and by the time im done I dont really care if I only have 10 friends on my list. Im not here for a popularity contest or to earn meaningless points. keep that in mind everyone has TWO DAYS TOPS to let me know they want to stay.

So just to let the world know im so fucking sick of that god damn "If I Were A Boy" Song. I mean seriously ya know what I mean I know men can be dogs but when we weigh it out between the sexes on the scales. Guess what when and their evil,dirty, underhanded, scandolous, cheating, liying fucking ways are put out out there for the world to see women are just bigger fucking dogs then men so you know what, all you women who have this damn tag line in your status or anywhere else on your profile, this includes actully having the song on your profile.......GET THE FUCK OVER IT. Heres a thought, maybe there are no more good men left because evil fucking women have made ups jaded and equily as evil as they so by the time a good woman gets to them its already to late. Something to think about. I mean fuck this good damn song is worse then hearing "sexy back" a million times a day when it was popular!