REASONS WHY GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN
1. A guitar has a volume knob
AND????
2. If you break a guitar's G-string, it only costs $.79 for a new one
BUT OURS LOOKS HOTTER
3. You can make a guitar scream as loud as you want it to
IF YOU'RE GOOD, YOU CAN DO IT WITH US TOO
4. You can unplug a guitar
AND?? WE CAN LEAVE
5. You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining it wants more
I WANT FINGERED FOR HOURS!!!!!
6. Other people can play your guitar without it getting upset
UUM, NO COMMENT
7. You can finger a guitar in public and get applause, not arrested
IF YOU'RE GOOD, AND SNEAKY, YOU CAN FINGER US IN PUBLIC TOO... AND WE CAN GIVE YOU HEAD
8. You can have a guitar any color you want and no one will care
UM, SERIOUSLY?!?!?! COME ON!!!
9. You can make your guitar as tight as you want it just by turning a peg.
THEY MAKE GEL THAT MAKES WOMEN TIGHTER.... UM, NO I HAVEN'T USED IT... I JUST SAW IT IN CHRISTIES... SO THERE
10. If your guitar doesn't make sounds you like, you can return it
AND IT CAN'T MAKE THE SOUNDS I CAN MAKE
11. You can use four fingers at a time on a guitar
UM, HELLO??? TWO HOLES BUDDY, TWO HOLES...
12. If your guitar strings are too heavy, you can just get a lighter set
OR TELL US WE'RE FAT, AND WE'LL DIET
13. You can have a guitar professionally adjusted to *your* liking
AND THE RIGHT WOMAN YOU'LL LOVE THE WAY SHE IS
14. If you scratch a guitar's back, it's unintentional, not required
:( WHAT IS WITH MEN NOT LOVING TO SCRATCH OUR BACKS??? JEEZ
15. You can go to a guitar shop and play all the guitars you want for free
HO
16. It's good to have a guitar that's stretched out.
UM, WTF?
17. You can take lessons on how to play a guitar without feeling embarrassed.
BABY, I CAN GIVE YOU LESSONS HOW TO PLAY ;)
18. You can rent a guitar without worrying about who rented it before you.
LMAO.... WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!!!
19. You can play the guitar with your bare fingers and no protective covering.
YOU CAN PLAY WITH ME WITH BARE FINGERS...
20. You can get rich playing a guitar, not broke.
NOW THATS JUST FUCKED UP....
21. A guitar doesn't take half of everything you own when you sell it.
ONCE AGAIN, FUCKED UP...
BUT THAT GUITAR CAN'T HOLD YOU, LOVE YOU, KISS YOU, MAKE YOU DINNER, WORSHIP THE GROUND YOU WALK ON, MAKE LOVE TO YOU, FUCK YOUR BRAINS OUT, NOR CAN IT GIVE AWESOME HEAD. SOOO, THERE!!!
