i realized something about my self this week... i shut my emotions off for years and crawled in to a shell...
now i cant even connect any more w ppl i care for
my closest friend sees this, and now a man i THOUGHT would be able to help me break out of this pattern... i even managed to run him off now...
why even let myself hope when all i ever do any more is cry???
it would just b easier if i watched him fukn stab me through the heart instead of letting myself hope as i had..
i really thought he was different , guess not.
i am sry...i wish things would have worked out differently, but i honestly believed when u said u wanted something different in your life... said if its worth haveing it needs to be worked at and its not easy...
well i tried and guess what i still sit here crying...go figure
