Johnnymontana's blog: "Thoughts on the Sundry"

I have now been on Fubar a little over two weeks and I thought it might be helpful to my newer friends here to give a brief, and those of you who know me understand brief is not in my vocabulary, analysis and impression of my experience on this site.  I have not been sober since the first day I arrived so am not sure any of this will be meaningful as I am in a constant state of shit-facedness but I will do my best, especially in light of the fact that just this morning I received 46 martinis and am still able to sit here and write this ridiculous blog, walk upright and talk on the phone, all at the same time.  Don't tell me this place isn't magic!!

If you are a man, and I am one the last time I checked, the first thing you notice on Fu are the vast numbers of incredible and beautiful women here. If you don't notice them then you are in need of a serious eye exam cause they sit in little boxes on your page, little boxes that float past you on the top of your page, little boxes that do not move and things called blasts where many of the ladies make seriously seductive comments like, " come bang my rang and spank my boomer". As we have discussed in past blogs, men have a constant run of testosterone that is basically never ending.  So for a new guy on this site who has no idea what a "rang" and "boom" really is, comments like that will cause an unusually high burst of testosterone that in turn leads to the purchase of blings and huge number of rates to impress the lady which in turn leads to her leveling and you paying your credit card bill at the end of the month.  It is a great system and I am filled with awe for Mike and his staff here for having such a handle on human nature and exploiting it to the max.  Nothing wrong with that of course, we are having fun....but guys...you are never going to SEE that woman who wants her bang ranged or whatever it is much less actually touch her.  Yes ladies we are pervs but it is a God given ability and we are often not able to control stupid thoughts and comments.  Blame God not us. Never forget that!

Speaking of the ladies, as you read profiles of women here, and I am one of the few who actually does that before going to the pics, there are many women who will tell you they are not here to meet anyone romantically so, as one lady put it in a profile I read the other day, "don't even try it or I will delete you!"  Then I go to their pics which are numerous and would make any porn site green with envy.   I am thinking, oh good, you aren't looking for anyone but you are in to torturing men by putting your large and lucious breasts all over your page. Makes perfect sense to me.  So like many other aspects of the game, I see this is designed to get my testosterone level up to an intolerable rate and then I will spend hours rating her pics and sending her blings and bombs and all kinds of other things.  She in appreciation will send me a martini.  Good plan and I am waiting for my next credit card bill to arrive.

So my premise after two weeks is to use great discretion who I play with here. That is an admirable goal and NEVER works.  Why?  Because testosterone knows nothing about admireable goals.  It does know about beautiful faces, pretty hair and large breasts.  Unless you have a firm grasp on yourself when it comes to these things we will immediately run out and buy more stuff for a lady who is fumarried to someone else and living with someone else away from the computer.  You really do not believe there are real men who actually are nice who see this gorgeous woman in real life and do not have an advantage over my fake drinks I am offering here.  The key, guys, is to use self discipline to meet people you actually have a chance of talking with in this life and who may actually be attracted to you.  That is why Fubar designed these gifts and inticements.  So the point here is do not buy a bling for someone who in her blast tells you she loves her fu husband.  Instead, write when she asks for an expensive bling and tell her to get her fu husband to buy it for her.  If he says no, tell her to get a Fu divorce and get with someone like me who is not a cheapskate and will appreciate you for the beauty I will never experience in real life.  See? Makes perfect sense.

Leveling gets tougher as you get higher up the Fu ladder.  To get to the celestial Fu heights there are many hoops you must jump through and you need good people to play with. I am still learning about these various tactics in the game.  I do know I appreciate Baby Jesus and his staff, especially last week, for having the courtesy and appreciation for members to give us double points and unlimited 11's when they were having problems with their server.  You will never see that on most large sites.  Just a quick sorry and lets get back to it.  So to keep Fu ad free it is great to buy things here just for the sake of supporting the site.  This is the rationilization I use everytime I buy a bling for someone that never speaks to me again.  No guts no glory and I at least can make up some lame excuse that makes sense to me when I get my monthly credit card bill. Whatever it takes to make yourself look good when you were stupid!

So all and all this is an awesome site and lots of fun as long as you take it with a grain of salt. I will write more about this over the next few days but right now I see an awesome looking lady in the blast box that wants me to bang her hard.  Oh God bless testosterone,.  Where is my credit card?  I have some bangin to do.  More later....