todd55devoe's blog: "american idol"

The "American Idol" season finale has begun with gusto. Express' Greg Barber hits the highlights.

A FRIGHTENINGLY LIT close-up of Ryan Seacrest can mean two things: a) Welcome to Hell!, or b) It's the beginning of the "American Idol" finale, one of the most self-important events in the history of television (sorry, M*A*S*H).

The crowd is already rowdy at the Kodak Theater in Los Angeles, and the judges are dressed for the occasion. Or, well, for some occasion.

Randy appears to be wearing a suit from the Idi Amin collection. Paula misplaced the cap for her French maid outfit, but its many ruffles still look smashing. And Simon appears to be headed off to croon a midnight set at the Copa after the show. Seacrest calls him "Simon Cleavage," an obvious reference to his man boobs. No, his open shirt. Or both? They wink. They nod.

Speaking of Paula and smashing, the first two minutes of the show offer the night's biggest disappointment: Paula's nose looks perfectly normal. See, she apparently fell and broke her schnoz over the weekend while trying to avoid stepping on her pet Chihuahua, Tulip. These are the types of accidents that happen in Paula's world.

I was kinda hoping for a big nose bandage and for her voice to assume a nasally, Lois Griffin sound. Oh well.

Seacrest asks about it, but only so he could work in a poorly orchestrated "bitch" joke. (Tulip is a female dog, you see.) This guy hosts a radio show? He must play a lot of music.

We get a look back at the storied "AI" trip to Seattle (travel in our Wayback Machine here to see our Arion Berger's recap from that show). Jordin looks great — the wardrobe people should let her wear her own clothes — but Blake's hair is so spiky I'm surprised it wasn't deemed a security hazard. ("Ooop, he just impaled Chris Sligh.")

» ROUND 1 — SHOT THROUGH THE HEART: The round starts with a pre-taped coin toss, using a Blake-and-Jordin-bedecked coin. (Not in the Idol gift shop yet, but just you wait...) Blake wins, but lets Jordin pick. How nice. They both seem like really nice people, competition or no. But I guess anyone would be when the cameras are rolling. Well, most of us.

Seacrest lays out the night's events: One song is the contestant's favorite, one is a new song they haven't sung before and the final song is the winner of this year's songwriting competition, entitled "This Is My Now." Here we go.

Blake tries to re-capture the magic of his "You Give Love a Bad Name" Bon Jovi moment from the Top 6 show, which could go either way for him. It was his standout performance, and his creative, beatbox-infused interpretation of the song took both the judges and viewers by surprise — with explosively positive results. He was watercooler talk the next day. A retread will (and does) pale in comparison. Will degrading that seminal performance discourage voters? Or will a second shot remind viewers of the first, thus prompting them to vote for him? (Watch the original and the finale versions.)

He adds an odd walking-in-place dance move that looks like Ricky Martin after a mountain-climbing expedition. And, hey, are those my grandpa's pants he's wearing?

He seems to lose his stamina a bit in the middle, and looks a little clumsy dancing with the mic stand. But ... *deep inhaled breath* ... the beatboxing was really good. There, I said it. Not I really ought to do this every song and sometimes in conversation for no good reason good, mind you. But good. He's an animated performer.

The crowd thinks so, too. They cheer so loud, Randy can't be heard for a solid minute.

Randy: Loved the beatboxing, but the singing was "just all right."
Paula: Wants to clean out Randy's ears, then attempts to do math. "I wish I could give you more than a 10, so a 10 plus 10 plus 10 plus ..."
Simon: "You're not the best singer in the competition, but you are the best performer."

In the audience we see Phil (complete with sailor suit), Chris R., LaKisha and Melinda. Whoreallyshouldbeonthatstage. What? Sorry. Just mumbling to myself.

Jordin comes out swinging with "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera, which is a great choice for her. It's really rockin', which hasn't been her style for most of the competition, so she's taking a chance by showing a bit more range.

And it's a gamble that pays off — mostly. Simon's critique a moment ago is immediately realized: Jordin's a far better singer than Blake, but nowhere near as captivating a performer.

She swaggers onto the stage with confident strides (watch here). Her vocals are pitch-perfect, her high notes scraping the sky, but sounding clear as a bell. The light show seems a bit more distracting than usual, but actually helps add some zing, since Jordin's characteristically stiff behind the mic. Maybe it's like the Kennedy-Nixon debates of 1960, which radio listeners thought Nixon won, but TV viewers chalked up to Kennedy. Jordin's got the oratory, but Blake puts on a better show. Lyndon Johnson would love him.

The fans drown Randy out again. "Fans are ruling the night tonight," he says, "I love that." Except he scowls just a little as he says that. Anyway, he underscores Simon's dichotomy: Jordin's the singer, Blake's the entertainer.

Paula's clearly a Blake gal. She says "you were both stellar," but means "I'll sic Tulip on you if you win."

Simon likes the younger song, but gets booed when he says her vocals were "a bit shrieky in the middle." He calls Round 1 for Blake. Not sure I agree. Do the other judges?

Seacrest puts Paula and Randy on the spot. Paula demurs, saying it was "an amazing tie." Randy repeats his point: Blake was the better performer, Jordin the better singer.

Sensing a theme here? And we still have two rounds to go!

Commercial time. And I've always wanted to know: Why does Chevy Chase Bank use a Ben Franklin lookalike as its pitchman? Does he have some connection to D.C. that I don't know about? Because if not, there are plenty of perfectly respectable Founding Fathers who do whose likenesses could be appropriated by our "hometown bank" for their financial gain. Just sayin'.