N33D FaNs Ch0s3n S0lDI3r's blog: "RESOLVE"

looking for a battlefield to lay my head to rest, i have seen and done more than enough in this life of mine, my body, mind and soul are tired after so many years being at war but for some reason i am still here and i will find the reason why regardless of where it takes me. This was my status today.

I know alot of people truly don't know who i am so i figured I would go a little deeper into this. I have deployed to many different countries to fight than i have been in the army, I have trained and hurt myself countless of times but for some reason I have never gave up. I have seen many bad things in my life endured things I would never wish on anyone. But i have always bounced back. I have a fire or a thirst so to say that has not been quenched, I dont go out looking for a fight but I wil handle it when I need to. I seek out challenges in my life and I won't give up until I am able to complete  it and if I don't watch out im on a one track mind until i make it there. It's wierd only this one time I can't turn the switch on to push myself in the direction I must go. I have done deep soul searching and I still can't find the answer that I seak. I am a way to kind hearted person that has been broken way to many times to count but yet I still try and do everything I can for everyone else. I never worry about myself. I have a hard outer shell that hides a soft inside. I have gotten many tattoos to remind me always of who I am but I can't even see who I am in those anymore. I guess the easiest way to say it is that my mind is clouded with so many things.

I walk a path that many dare not to walk for it is a dangerous and deadly path. Most will choose the easier and wider path to walk but not me. For some reason I can't allow myself to take the easier path. I have to put myself in danger so you dont have to and most wont understand that. I dont serve my country for the thanks or anything like that I serve for the simple fact to protect this country so we never have to see another catastrophe like before. I fight to protect the many generations that will follow after me. Granted I may not ever have offspring myself because I truly can't devote myself to anyone besides my country. I have given up so much to be here where I am today, lost countless friends, been away for so many birthdays and holidays but none of that matters to me as long as everyone else is safe I will gladly give my life in the defense of country. When i pass away into the next world I dont ever want to see anyone shed a tear for me. I want to look down from heaven and here everyone rejoice in everything that I have done not what could have been. I am an extremely proud soldier and that will never change.

I do apoilogize for jumping around this was more meant for me to read from time to time not everyone else so I dont ever forget what I am doing all this for. 

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