WARNING: For your safety and the safety of others, please refrain from filling this application out while driving, especially while on the phone and in the middle of applying your make-up.
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*NOTE: All applications with out RECENT and officially notorized as authentic full body photographs will be immediately rejected.*
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*Void where prohibited - certain restrictions apply - must be 18 or older - Should be 50 or younger - Sorry, No C.O.D.s - While supplies last - Ask about special group rates *
* Se habla espanol (what ever the hell that means) *
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What's your full name:
(may be substitued for "Hey you" or "babe" etc... for now)
Age:
Years you have been this "age":
Birthday (Note: This information is not entered in to the main database - do not assume I have it beyond this application procedure):
Your current location:
Location of X-boyfriends, their level of jealousy, propensity towards violence, and likelihood of owning a firearm:
Are you willing to commute / relocate?:
At 4am because of a drunken request?:
Sexual Preference:
Number of times prefer sex per week?:
Height:
Weight:
At what altitude?:
Body Type (Note: Curvy = small waist, big breasts and hips and is NOT to be used as another way to say FAT):
Eye color:
Current Hair Color:
Natural Hair Color:
Last time hair was natural color?:
do the "carpets" match the "drapes"?:
Type of "carpet" (plush, regular, trimmed, or removed with bare floor)?:
Favorite Movies:
Favorite Movies that didn't make you cry:
Religion (if you are not religious put 'Not Religious'):
Into anal sex? (if you are put "FAST TRACK CANDIDATE - CODE A" in Large red print at the top margin of the first page of this application):
Into giving oral? (if you are not put "Does not qualify - Disregard App" at the top margin of the first page of this application):
Do we already know each other?:
If so, how did we meet?:
Did we have sex?:
List any major physical changes since we last saw each other (gain weight of over 10Àloss of limbs, disfigurement, ect):
Smoke?:
PMS harsh?:
Drink?:
Get Drunk?:
Tend to pass out?:
If so, what's your favorite drink?:
What are your fears?:
What have past boyfriends said they fear most about you?:
Estimated number of times past boyfriends have called you "psycho":
Number of legal issues you've had with boyfriends, past or pending:
Do you currently have any restraining orders against you?:
If so, list each and its court defined official reason:
Why Are you Applying?:
Where else have you or are you planning to apply for a girlfriend position?:
One special thing about me that you'll be constantly bragging about to your friends:
One special thing about me that you're going to pretend to hate but secretly get turned on by:
One special thing about me that you know is going to make you snap one day:
Your favorite body part on me:
Your favorite body part of mine in you:
Do you have a strong, weak, or non-existing gag reflex?:
Average time it takes for you to get ready in the morning (from waking up to walking out the door)?:
Can you cook?:
Favorite sexual position:
Favorite position to be tied up in:
Favorite position to have partner tied up in:
favorite sexual position to be in at work:
Favorite sexual act in public:
If I was standing behind you, could you bend down and grab my ankles?:
Have you ever had a three way with a guy and another girl?:
Would you consider having one / doing it again?:
If so, would you be able to provide the additional female?:
Have you done or do any drugs?:
If so, how good is your connect?:
Do you get along with your parents/siblings/family?:
Would I have to?:
Do you consider yourself to be successful?:
Estimate percentage of TOTAL monthly expenses/bills that you pay for yourself (ie. money earned from actually working and not given to you):
Will you be wanting to get married or have kids within the next 5 years?:
Where is your ideal vacation spot?:
Where is your G-spot?:
What is the biggest item you have had in any body cavity?:
Please explain(Size, description, circumstances):
Could you provide photo or video proof of this if requested?:
What is so unique and special about your cat?:
What are some things that are wrong with you? (attach additional sheets if you run out of room):
What is something about you that you try but are usually unsuccessful at hiding?:
Can you see a doctor and get rid of it?:
Could/would you ever imagine allowing yourself to sleep with anyone on a first date?:
If so, under what circumstances (explain fully using specific details):
Estimated minimum amount that you expect a guy to spend for a first anniversary gift:
Estimated minimum amount that you expect a guy to spend for a birthday gift:
What do we have in common (Besides admiration and love for me)?:
Job?:
If so, hand, hum, rim, or blow?:
If blow, spit or swallow?:
Piercings?:
If so, where?:
If tongue, did you answer yes to previous blow job question?:
If not, where else have you lied on this application?:
Why would you make a good g/f for me and how do you plan on affording the monthly dues?:
To Reply to the Application Cut and paste
