Over 16,529,084 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?
Well I have done it, I think. I think I finally lost my chance at happiness. Well I recently wrote some rants due to a personal friend of mine, well past friend now, and the wrong person read it and thought it was her. Now they are pissed at me, they are not talking to me, they pretty much have taken me out of the possible equations. I don't understand why I do this to myself and the people I care about? I mean, I believe in speaking your mind, venting out the pain instead of holding it in, and really just being myself. I do this, and I hurt the people I care about, while those who hurt me still continue enjoying life and my suffering. I don't know what to friggin do. I feel horrible inside, I feel empty and cold, and I have this constant feeling of void in my upper chest. I feel like I want to cry, but the pain is just too much to even shed a tear anymore. I am feeling the urge to cry right now, but I can't. I just want to be able to tell someone how I feel, or even might feel about them and not get a friggin sword through my soul and the 3rd degree on how I am being a complete idiot, and then getting tossed out onto the street by them. Why does every chick I meet have a ego so bad that when someone cares about them, they just burn them down. The thing is, I didn't even tell her, she just knew I started caring and then wooosh!!! The flames melt me down. Why? Why does it matter what kinda pain is in the past, we all have had pain in our past, that's why we keep the past behind us and move on. We need to look for something better. We need to stop making excuses to not hang with people and stay inside, and we need meet someone who likes us for who we are and let it go somewhere. I know how to do that, I know how to put it all behind me, I just wish I didn't have to do it again, for once I finally thought about the future, so why can't you?
