I think I've come to the conclusion that I'm fake, that I'm a false person at times. Now, things will always bother someone, the only difference is how you deal with what's going on. I usually come out of situations with my head up high, acting as if everything is fine, as if I wasn't bothered at all, but could that be exactly how I feel? Things bother me as much as the next person, I just have a weird way of hiding my true feelings, rather than show that I am affected somehow. People ask me all the time, 'Why are you so calm? Why are you not bothered?' Thing is, I fake being ok. Things eat at me like crazy, I just choose to push it off at the moment and try and focus on something different. Then suddenly I'm alone, and all I do is recall the times I said that 'I'm fine, I'm over it', in which case I never really was. I think I act as if I'm ok so I'm not starting trouble, so I'm not causing problems. Yes, sharing your feelings can be a good thing, but we all know sometimes it can be a bad thing. Everyone wants honesty until the very moment they hear something they don't like. Then all of a sudden it's 'I would have rather not known'. Some of the things that bother me are minor, things that probably shouldn't even bother the average person, but I guess I'm not that person. Perhaps I care too much with certain things and that's why I'm easily bothered, or perhaps I just have a problem. Honestly, I'm bothered right now. Someone did ask me earlier if I was ok, and sure enough I said I was good. When I talk to this person again, yea, I'm gonna be fine then too. Will I still be thinking about what's bothering me now? Of course, but I'll just act like it doesn't bother me. Why do I do this? I wish I had a true answer I could go by, but I don't.
You want to know what's bothering me?? Nothing, I'm fine.
