Well I went to the cabin she was sharing with the deck hand and knocked on the door. She answered it with just a towel wrapped around her and I could see him in the bed with a sheet over his cock. I asked her if we could talk and she said sure and went back and grabbed some clothes and squeezed his cock and said she would be back. I had a hard time looking at her after that and we went to the feont of the boat. I asked her what she was doing and why and she said she was excerising her freedom and she was enjoying herself. She than asked me what gave me the right to question her affairs when I fucking grabbed any woman we met and would try to bed them. I had no answer for her and I began to cry. I told her I loved her and I was sorry if I hurt her. She said that that wasn't thepoint. I told her I never denied her anything she wanted and again she said that wasn't the point. I asked her what was the point and then she let me have it. She said that she did fall in love with me and was willing to go anywhere and do anything with me. She said she understood my problem and did not hold it against me. What she held against me was that I always assumed that it didn't hurt her that I was screwing other women after I had been in bed with her or before I would go to bed with her. It hurt her that I took her for granted at times that she would always be there to satisfy her itch. Never asking or assuming that there might be more she wanted. She said she didn't want to go with him and if I would have said no she would have loved me forever, but since I was so cavilier about it and then the fact that I grabbed two female deck hands and screwed them silly then she was going to enjoy herself also. She wasn't sorry that she was enjoying his cock and that he made her orgasm also. She was going to enjoy it to the max. She said that she was sorry it had to come to this but right now we both need to reevaluate or situation. She needs to decide if marrying me is going to be best for her and she said I need to decide how to resolve my problem. She doesn't mind it but it needs to be controled. She said when we both decide what we are going to do then we will get back together. She said that she was getting off at the next port-of-call and wanted to go home. I told her that I didn't want her to go but she was steadfast...crying but steadfast. SO I told her I would arrainge for a jet to take her home. I asked her if she still had love towards me and she said she did but she needs to see if it is what it was. She gave me a quick hug and said that she will stay away till we dock and then when she decided she would contact me. She said that I must decide too and let her know.
I dont know what I am going to do right now. I know I am going to feel so empty and alone. I will not force her but damn I love her so. Maybe she is right and I need to get myself checked out and find out why I am always in heat so to speak. I haven't decided where I am going to go yet but that is the least of my worries. I will stay in touch and still check in with my friends here.
I love all of you almost as much as I love Lizelle.
Kisses and warm thoughts to everyone...
Joanie
