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Well, I'm bored as f&ck tonight.  Fubar had locked me out for like 6 hours.  I'm watching dirt track racing and on demand shows I've been missing.  I've probably been as depressed as I've ever been this week.  Pretty much all week.  I wish I was still in Florida, reality was gone for two weeks :D  As always, I try to focus on the positive things, but it seems like the problem isn't getting unsad.  It's not even wanting to be happy consistently.  So I'm smoking an apple tonight with a grill clicker to expand my imagination to think of good things to cheer me up.  Like, oh yeah, I realized 20 minutes ago where there's spare parts in the house to fix my mt. bike.  I'm going to canibalize another bike.  It's been outta commission since last summer.  So, I'll be looking forward to shredding woods and trails.

I put the snowboard away and outta site.  Instead of remembering good times all I could think was I didn't get to ride at all last winter.  That motivates me really well.  I think I will actually fix my bike tomorrow and that makes me psyched.  The herb is to put me to sleep, it's 3:30 right now.  I've smoked A LOT this week to keep my mind from wandering too far, as it tends to.  I might decide I need to smash someone, and that wouldn't be good. 

I think I just need to remember I'm a fun loving, good natured lunatic and when I get up tomorrow, I need to put those clothes on.  Another thing that herb does to you is it takes away your ability to tell if you're rambling.  As I'm not able to tell, I'm not going to write any more in case someone reads this far.

Later people

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