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What are you waiting for?

I remain

I wish you could have seen my heart,
The torment from with in pulling me apart,
Demons for which I could not thwart,

pushing away my guard never falling,
Despite the fact you were calling,
Overwhelmed and barely crawling,

I hid in this place away from you,
Alone I cried missing you,
Regeting everything I did to you,

Could you not hear the tremble in my voice?!,
Did you not know I felt as though there was no other choice?!,

Willingly I break your heart and my own,
Discarding the only love I have ever known,
Dying with in only beginning to grow,

To late but only now can you understand?,
My unwillingness to stretch out my hand,
Emotionally crippled no longer could I stand.

Do you really believe I left you bound and raped?,
Lost in an illusion without escape?
None of these did I create,

In hearing this I am left shaken,
Have you simply forgotten or merely mistaken,

I know there was a time I wasnt there for you,
But do you believe there was a time I didnt care for you,
Now wishing there were so many things I would've shared with you,

Forgiveness is not what I seek,
For mine is a heart so weak,
Fearing a future cold and bleak,

Few certainties I know to be true,
Though one of which that I do,
Heart and soul I remain with you,
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