Ahrinin's blog: "I promise, it's not all copied from my livejournal..."

Okay, well, part of the deal is that I have two weeks to make a short paper (1 pg. is nothing even at the junior college level) about "Who is Harry?" in "Sleeping With Anger." This is really an interesting piece of work, especially since some other interesting films have come up prior, but this one is perhaps more interesting because it is not realistic, it's stylistic elements push it along with a great amount of tension. Now, that being said, the Film 160 Midterm was handed out as a take-home, for all of us who probably haven't read the book anyhow. For a change, my English class has given me a shorter essay to dissect, "On Ideology and Philology." My group partner had a cut that needed her to go to Kaiser in Walnut Creek, so I said to take whatever time she needed, it was cool. Seems they wanted her to get a tetanus shot. Anyhow, the one person who seemed to be interested from one of my classes has decided to go back to the ex that she had been railing against so badly. I'm going to be glad to be clear as that is not going to be a pretty sinking to watch. You dig? Of other interest, I'm trying to sneak out to San Francisco to see how San Francisco State Univ. is while alive. I have more boot-on-ground time for San Jose State Univ., which currently biases my decision making so far. I like the thought of living in the City by the Bay, but I also like the thought of being someplace less of a commuter school. I mean, It's been a bit lonely this past year and some change and it's also a bit sad that it's also meant the loss of my confidantes. Building my bridge ... now to get on the other side as I'm getting over it now. I just miss having that sort of outreach. I also will admit I miss having a cuddle buddy, but that's not such a big deal.

I'm not really purely anxious, it's the five minutes of making sure my footnotes hadn't been killed when I re-ordered some of my sentences for my second submitted Primary Sources essay that put me at a 12:04AM submission with a due date being "by midnight, December 8, 2006." Last time it was only 12:01AM, so that could be chalked up to connection lag, but this is not the case. The article is rushed in its conclusion, but its body is relatively thorough by comparison. The irony is that by the time it had gotten good and going full steam, it was time to submit it. Next term's classes if I don't need to make anything up will be Film 160: American Ethnic Cultures in Film, Psych. 122: Psychology in Modern Life, and Nutri. 115: Nutrition and Health: Personal Applications. I have a thee unit gap to make room for anything that pops up at the last moment. I am sadly being told by my family I'm not going to Antioch on sunday the 10th for a friend's tradition of service for the homeless due to the time concern. I'm going to go ahead and do my cleaning tonight as long as I can stay awake enough to not kill myself tomorrow (well, later today) morning. I feel like all my grander plans are being stepped on lately, like making use of the kitchen the night my dad gets back to make deserts for potlucks. I sincerely hope this doesn't happen next friday either, because I have the dinner party that night. I still want to at least get the chance to attempt a Büche de Noël, but it's frustrating to be told that I cannot even attempt it this year. I think it's mainly because I feel kind of useless at home for the most part, as I'm either doing something with my schoolbooks at night, and at work in the day. I'm going to focus on clothes first, since I need the donations to be washed and packed. I can try and sneak to my friend's house tomorrow instead, and come back home the long way. Oh, and Celtic Woman's new tour: "A New Journey" rocks my socks. I am not kidding, I turned on the tellie for a moment to have some background noise as I ate, prior to going back to work on a paper, and found myself trying to keep up with a jig as I watched them perform "Spanish Lady" from Slane Castle via the PBS broadcast.

You heard me, a last-minute submission. For those of you who have forgotten this idea, it's what happens when you look at a response paper and realize that it can't be submitted as it stands. What is truly annoying is when you finish five minutes before your deadline, save it and just Alt+Tab windows to attatch it and send it. Why did it take 4 minutes to send a file that's not even 25kb large? I don't know about most computers built after 2002, but that's a problem. I know the network isn't having hiccups because my brother was using my computer to do his online applications to the University of California. So what gives? I really don't know, but it gives me a lot more stress than it deserves since I know I have work to get up for in just over 5 hours. I also know that right now I'm going to have a hard time slipping off to sleep right away since I'm still awake from editing my work. It's just a little frustrating. I have a feeling my proffessor may let it slide as the time mark reads 12:01 am, which is 2 min after the deadline and is based off of her e-mail service. Here's hoping that saves me the hassle since I really do need these points to guarantee my getting credit. I let too much slide earlier in the term for this class, a few short answer reviews here and there mainly, and forgetting which week was mine to lead discussion (ouch!), when Business Statistics and Accounting ganged up with work to kick my ass and lay me out with little sleep. Right now I'm probably getting more worked up than I need to be, but it's because I know on December 14th I will be awaiting up to three weeks at which another audit of my entire collegiate progress and living situation will come up. That's what's going to make it worse, I think. Anyhow, I should get to bed and stop ranting by typing with one continual and virtually unbroken thought.

Ever more the sands of time seem to be swept along, faster and faster down the stream of life's pace. I find that the things I want to do, need to do, should do, can easily fall by the banks and become lost in the silt. Just as easily, those which stumble can be burried in that same silt and lost from the sight of memory; both treasure and trivial are bound to that prospect. My college applications are now submitted electronicly to San José State University, San Francisco State Univeristy, Sacramento State University, and California State East Bay (Concord/Hayward campuses). I like San José State's campus, from what I saw since it seemed like a good place for logistical arrangements, aside from the reliance on the automobile if I can't get a flat too close to the campus. Sacramento State will also require me doing something similar, since I know no one up that way that I would be able to be roommates with and since the housing is supposed to be expensive as far as rent goes. California State East Bay and San Francisco State University have much greater access through public transit, and if in the CSU East Bay campus, I can use the car to go one town over for that without too much trouble if I move out to Concord or Pleasant Hill. San Francisco State University would also be feasable from Contra Costa County since the Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) system extends to Daly City, and they have a bus bridge from the BART station to the campus. I was looking through my list of songs as I revamped my more Christmas themed music. For some reason, even if I have qualms with some aspects of differing religious expressions, sometimes you find something that seems perfect for just that moment. The song I'm listening to now is a song I first came across in Saint Dominic's Parish school in my sixth-grade year. It is "Breath of Heaven" and is perhaps a lot more emotional than even the Magnificat (Cancticle of Mary) since the words speak of a very human struggle and not the shining frescos of resignation and acceptance for the Assumption's depiction. More likely, being human, the Mary of both myth and fact would have been terrified, from the child being carried, the sense of despiration, the sense of disorientation, physical pain, if she should have been chosen. In the midst of all that comes a prayer, that in the dismay of her heart, she would invoke the breath of heaven to sustain her to "lighten my darkness," "hold me together," and at the same time reaffirm her commitment to the course ahead. Regardless of the literal story that the myths and legends were built around, it is a touching thought as it is a feeling person and not some distant and statuesque paragon that is reinforced for the idea of Mary. I want to hear either Handel's Messiah or see The Nutcracker this year, it's been a few since the last time at either performance. Yes, that's one of the few really festive things I do outside of the kitchen. Éclairs came out lovely for the potluck Thanksgiving party in Antioch on the Twenty-fourth (Friday, 24 Nov. 2006), but on Saturday my shortbread could have done with a topping of caramel that was a little less in the hard-ball stage. I couldn't pour and spread out the caramel fast enough, so I may also increase the portion of syrup that I carmalize (it's just enough water to cover the sugar, and sugar). The éclairs were something I'd like to do again, since the pan de choux pastry wasn't too difficult once I got the hang of piping it. Custard for filling is something I have a fair bit of practice with, so that was fine. I might add some arromatics to the chocolate sauce next time, perhaps a mint extract? Work has been a little bit busy, I will admit, and I'm not getting that much sleep. I need more sleep, since 5 hrs straight is getting harder to do. It's not that I'm not trying, but it just doesn't seem to work some nights. It's especially hard when I have to leave something incomplete, even if I'm not really thinking about it. My body seems to remember, so if I'm going to put something off I need to do it early. We've had our first frost of the colder months. Ten minutes to heat up my car and clear the windows for visibility with the defroster and windshield wipers was ten minutes I'd rather have been on the road for, as I hate that it seems to be my curse to be continually late to work even if I do get up early and put things out the night before work. It's as though something adjusts just enough to botch up the preparations. (from November 28, 2006)