MiZzUs cReoSotE's blog: "I never will learn"

Same situation. Just a different face this time.. It's stupid I know I am NOT being thought about which is so stupid that I am thinking about this.. Why can't I just let this go? Probably because it brought up so much stuff for me that I yes even talked to the old bf who ripped my guts out.. but hence then we've been able to talk to each other again and be friends. Everything backfired.. and I am angry at myself .. I don't know what to think.. being sick doesn't help.. I called the guy wished him a Merry Christmas there's a part of me that still wants to be friends.. I know with guys if they know that it's not gonna go anywhere don't make efforts or if they are hurt. I have talked to so many people today and yesterday and this whole week.. WtF??? am I so bloody week that I can't get past one little guy that was playing me.... and I asked for it. What the hell is wrong with people these days that they can't just choose love versus doubt versus everything else? sighs... I need to see the brighter side of sadness

You know I thought that at 35 I would be wise to the game.. or so it seems... I just basically got played which really I think that was what it was. Ok so Friday I meet this guy TOTALLY cute and it seems we hit it off.... I kinda thought ok this is just gonna be a hook up and that is that RIGHT?? So we hook up and I am like cool whatever.. then he goes on stating how much he digs me and how hasn't felt this way about a gal in a long time.. totally affectionate.. and pretty much saying everything I want to hear.. Which in my mind I am like ? huh??? WTF??? ok erm maybe dude wants something more than just the obvious... hmmmm ... He's even saying this stuff after the fact.... I am like cool... coz all I was thinking it was gonna be wham bam thank you man and that's all. Ok so I know this dude is in a band he told me that he was gonna get me a ticket and get me into the club blah blah blah.. So I called yesterday to ask him about it... a couple of times which he was busy and said to me he would call me back in a couple of hours.. Ok nothing.... hmmmm well I know people forget they get busy but still .... Since I have a pet peeve about people not following through and what to see what happened.. I called today and asked what had happened.. sure enough he had forgot and since he had put so much money into the PA system... he wasn't going to be able to pay for me when he promised to do so.. ok stuff happens .. um however he DID have enough cash to go see a movie with the guys... yeah ok whatever.... I did however make an inquiry about what he had stated to me about how he sooo dug me and that he hasn't felt this way towards a girl in long time.. yada yada.. I stated this .. Did you mean what you said to me on Friday and Saturday? His response,"What did I say" Mine... a laugh,, apparently NOT... me thinks.. He went on to tell me that he was forgetful and that he wasnt doing anything to be spiteful blah blah blah.... famous last words... If you DIG someone or really wanna make an impression you DON'T say things you aren't going to be able to follow through with. I mean do I expect too much...??? probably... Man I got noone to blame but myself for falling for it... well what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger... Cest' le vie