DEAR CHERRY TAP FAMILY & FRIENDS:
IT'S ME, SUSAN A.K.A. MZ. PONYGIRLSUE, AND THE REASON WHY I AM WRITING THIS BLOG TONIGHT IS THAT I AM ALL TORN UP INSIDE. MANY SAD AND HORRIBLE EVENTS HAVE OCCURRED IN MY PERSONAL LIFE OUTSIDE OF THE CHERRY THESE PAST FEW WEEKS SINCE I HAVE BEEN AWAY. I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE EVER SHARED THIS FACT WITH YOU GUYS BEFORE BUT I SUFFER FROM MANIC DEPRESSION OR BIPOLAR DISORDER BROUGHT ON FROM YEARS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL, PHYSICAL & EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND TORTURE. IT IS A LONG SAD STORY BUT I AM NOT YET READY TO SHARE ANY PERSONAL DETAILS OF IT AS OF YET. BUT THE HORRIFIC EVENTS OF MY PAST HAVE COME CALLING IN MY CURRENT ADULT LIFE AND ARE HAVE MANY TERRIBLE REPERCUSSIONS INCLUDING BEING HOSPITALIZED FROM THE DAY AFTER MY BIRTHDAY (APRIL 2ND OF THIS YEAR) UP UNTIL THIS APRIL 12TH. IT IS THREATENING MY WHOLE SAFETY AND SECURITY AND MY USUALLY HAPPY WAY OF LIFE WITH MY BOYFRIEND MARK. HE IS VERY LOVING BUT VERY CONFUSED AND FEAQUENTLY MISUNDERSTANDING OF THE TURMOIL THAT STIRS WITHIN MY SOUL. I HAVE TROUBLE SLEEPING AND MY HEALTH IS IN JEOPARDY AS WELL. PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS FOR A POSITIVE OUTCOME OF ALL OF THIS MESS. MY HOPES ARE STILL ALIVE BUT IT IS VERY HARD TO KEEP MY SPIRITS UP. BUT I ALSO WANT TO THANK MY DEAR CHERRY FRIENDS AND FAMILY FOR ALL OF THE BIRTHDAY LOVE THAT WAS SHOWN TO ME RECENTLY. IT WAS OVERWHELMING AND THERE IS NO WAY I CAN PERSONAL WRITE AND THANK EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU FOR ALL THE THE GIFTS AND THE WELL WISHES. IT IS VERY GOOD TO KNOW THAT I AM LOVED HERE. SORRY I THAT I HAVE NOT HAVE HAD THE TIME OR THE ENERGY TO RETURN THE LOVE OR THE RECENT COMMENTS ON MY PAGE BUT I DO VISIT FROM TIME TO TIME JUST TO BOOST MY SPIRITS AND REMIND MYSELF THAT PEOPLE DO CARE ABOUT ME. THANK YOU ALL AND PLEASE DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME. I LOVE YOU ALL VERY MUCH AND MISS TALKING TO YOU DEARLY. THANKS FOR BEING THERE FOR ME AND PLEASE PUT THIS OUT TO THE REST OF CHERRY TAP AS WELL IF YOU CAN. I HAVE NOT THE HEART TO MAKE ANY BULLETINS RIGHT NOW BUT I THINK THAT OTHERS SHOULD KNOW THAT I NEED TO BE IN THEIR PRAYERS AS WELL. THANK YOU MY DEAR ONES AND UNTIL WE MEET ONLINE AGAIN SOMEDAY I HOPE THAT DAY WILL COME AGAIN VERY SOON. PLEASE EXCUSE MY NERVOUSNESS HERE BUT THIS COMES FROM MY HEART AND THIS IS VERY HARD FOR ME TO SHARE. BYE BYE FOR NOW MY DEARS. TAKE CARE NOW & GOD BLESS YOU ALL UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN.
MUCH LOVE ♥ & A WISH FOR PEACE ~~~~~ MZ. PONYGIRLSUE
