ok i must be nuts i must be realy fucking crazy to think i could have feeling for someone and that the would maybe just a lil but have the same feeling like i have told friends and how thing have always gone in the pasted i want what i can't have and that just how my live gos i have well come to just take it and deal with it. and no this just isn't about a guy and the fact that i could have feeling this is about my dam life everyone of my friends may look at me like why don't u do something about like what fight for what i want hell no it to much fucking work any more iam done i have fight allmost my hole dam life. trusted me i didn't grow up like most kids but that a hole other story. my point is that i have kind just been like oh well just a other thing i can't have or a other goal iam never going to meet. iam so numb to everything around me that it just has got to the point when some lets me down or hurts me i just look at them with a blank look like ok what ever no big deal. i mean don't get me wrong i would love to have someone shock me for once in my life but realy come i don't see that happing anytime soon at all.
