Swinging Johnson Brothers Comedy's blog: "Swinging Johnson Brothers Musings"

Hello, my fellow proud Americans from across our beautiful and magestic and lovely and breathtaking land.

My name is Juanathin Johnson and I gonna be President of the United States!

...heavy huh?

So, here it goes... I would like to be the president of the United States. I know it's a big annoucement and I spoke it over with my imaginary wife that I hope to have someday and she agrees.
"It's our duty to run.", she says while sewing an imaginary flag on our imaginary big couch.
(I should remember to ask future wife if she minds dressing up like Martha Washington.)

I am sure I will win because I feel like I have more chance then anyone running so far. I've heard some interesting things about some of our fellow canidates that I think that you all should know. After all, we are all part of this conversation. If we weren't then this would be just like you reading a some dumb blog I wrote.
And that's just silly.

For instance did you know Hillary Clinton is actually related to Bill Clinton the former president of the United States? It's true and you'd be suprised to also know that those two have had intercourse and have actually had a child while MARRIED TO....... EACH OTHER!

It's stupid that so many people don't know that... I mean stupid. It scares me so much.... I need to run for president and you need me to run for President!

Oh how about that newcomer with that weird race thing going on... Bara... O'ba... Oh that's right Mit Romney... did any of you people know that he grew up in a brothel in North Colton. If you doubt me then just ask him about being "Mormon."  I hear it's the same thing and they eat their young, in fact they eat their  young in front of their other young just so they know better than to leave the brothel without their bikes and nametags.

For you math buffs let me explain.
THE TRUTH = (THE OTHER CANIDATES SUCK)2 + I'm totally cool!

And you can totally trust me because I'm skinny!!!!

I'll spell it out to our brothers and sisters living in across our beautiful and magestic and lovely and breathtaking land, I'm so skinny it's obviously I haven't gotten away with much, and babies are really fattening so you can bet I haven't be eating my young eaither.

I don't need to show you my arms to prove to you how skinny I am do I?

Because I will... I'll show my arms lined up against every canidate you throw up against me and I'll show them one by one I'm WAY skinner then ALL OF THEM!

In the meantime I've got lots of soon to be President stuff to do. In the meantime, lick your own envelopes and keep America strong. I'll be on the late watch, keeping all of us safe from the lies of our oppressors.

I'm saying you should trust me so if I'm trustworthy and I say you should trust me then you should right?

Exactly... If you want more proof then you may hire a PI and he'll tell you... there is no pictures of me cheating on my Imaginary Wife oh no... oh no Martha and I are doing great, in fact I'm making plans already so that we can go get some fabric... How do Ya'll in the south feel about a rawhide flag?

Thanks Ron Sharp of Ron Sharp photography for the pictures of me being all presidentail and wearing plaid.