a lot has happened in the past few weeks. LOTS.
I don't want to throw any blame, names or anything else around.
I'm not happy here. Nor am I really wanted, and I've not been really loved here for quite some time. The only reason I have put up with as much as I have, is my kids.
We were very close to seperation/divorce in 2006, and we both decided to stay. Looking back, I can't help but to think if that was the wise thing to do.
I am torn between ending another relationship where I have children, and moving on from here. I'm not happy....I feel unloved, unappreciated, disrespected, and ALONE.
He has been blaming me for what went wrong. If that's what he has to do, to come to terms with it, then fine. I know in my heart, that he threw me out years ago. I didn't have to make a "guilt free" weekend to go fuck someone, make plans to leave, etc....
I told him from the (almost) beginning of my relationship with my master, but it did no good, because he didn't want to know, and he only wanted to lay blame.
I want to be happy. I know I am not happy here. I can't pretend to be what I'm not, and I am afraid if I try to go, he will do something to me physically, or himself, as he has threatened suicide.
So, what do I do?
Stay unhappy till he gets better? Stay miserable? I would rather be at work, than home, and I HATE MY JOB. that has to say something :(
