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SPARKY's blog: "I LOVE YOU!"

created on 06/22/2007  |  http://fubar.com/i-love-you/b94252

FRIEND POEM

A friend is someone we lean on, When we are feeling weak. A friend is someone who help's us, Find what it is we seek. A friend is someone who looks out for you, In all they say and do. A friend is someone you don't have to tell, For they already knew. A friend is someone who would, Go that extra mile. A friend is someone who show's us, A heart that does truly smile. A friend is someone who'll stand by you, And help you through your day. A friend is someone who'll show you, There is always a way. A friend is someone who'll dry your tears, When you feel you have to cry. A friend is someone who'll pull you through, When the tide feels ever so high. A friend is someone who'll be there, Until the very end. A friend is someone who'll show us, How that broken heart they'll mend. A friend is someone who give's us, Understanding, Joy and Grace. A friend is someone who makes this world, Truly a wonderful place.

HALLOWEEN JOKES

Some of these jokes are very 'bat' some might even say it is 'scary'. :-) There are more Halloween jokes here. Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!! Q. What is a Mummie's favorite type of music? A. Wrap!!!!! Q. Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? A. Because demons are a ghouls best friend! Q. What's a monster's favorite bean? A. A human bean. Q. Why can't the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie. Q. What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A. A sand-witch. Q. Where does a ghost go on Saturday night? A. Anywhere where he can boo-gie. Q. What did the skeleton say to the vampire? A. You suck. Q. What do ghosts say when something is really neat? A.Ghoul Q. Why did the ghost go into the bar? A. For the Boos. Q. Why was the girl afraid of the vampire? A. He was all bite and no bark. Q. Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? A. He didn't have a haunting license. Q. Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party? A. He had no body to dance with. Q. Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch? A. At the casketeria. Q. What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? A. He is mist. Q. Where did the goblin throw the football? A. Over the ghoul line. Q. Why doesn't Dracula mind the doctor looking at his throat. A. Because of the coffin. Q. Why is a ghost such a messy eater? A. Because he is always a goblin. Q. What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire? A. A toasty ghosty. Q. Why did the Vampire read the Wall Street Journal? Q. He heard it had great circulation. Q. What tops off a ghost's ice cream sundae? A. Whipped scream. Q. What do you give a skeleton for valentine's day? A. Bone-bones in a heart shaped box. Q. What are ghosts' favorite kind of streets? A. Dead ends Q. What is a vampires favorite holiday? A. Fangsgiving Q. What kind of makeup do ghosts wear? A. Mas-scare-a. Q. Why did the skeleton cross the road? A. To go to the body shop. Q. What happens when two vampires meet? A. It was love at first bite! Q. Who was the most famous ghost detective? A. Sherlock Moans. Q. What do you call two spiders that just got married? A. Newlywebbed Q. What is a ghosts favorite place on the web? A. www.halloween.com! Q. Who was the most famous witch detective? A. Warlock Holmes Q. What did the ghost say to the man at the coffee shop? A. Scream or sugar! Q. Who was the most famous skeleton detective? A. Sherlock Bones. Q. Who was the most famous French skeleton? A. Napoleon bone-apart Q. Which building does Dracula visit in New York? A. The Vampire State Building. Q. Where do most werewolves live? A. In howllywood, California Q. Where do most goblins live? A. in North and South Scarolina. Q. Where does a ghost refuel his porche? A. At a ghastly station. Q. What do Italian's eat on Halloween? A. Fettucinni Afraid-o (Ha ha ha) Q. Why did the skeleton go disco dancing? A. to see the boogy man. Q. What do witches use in their hair? A. scare-spray Q. What do you call a little monsters parents A. mummy and deady Q. What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon. A. sour-puss Q. How do you scare a mummy A. with a yummy dummy in a crash test crummy. Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire with the internet? A. blood-thirsty hacker baby Q. What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a skwaush? A. a squashed pumpkin pie. Q. Why do ghosts shiver and moan? A. It's drafty under that sheet. Q. What instrument do skeleton play? A: Trom-BONE. Q. What do ghosts eat for breakfast? A. Boo-Berries. Q. What is a vampires favorite place on the web? A. www.halloween.com! Q: Why did't the skeleton cross the road? A: He had no guts. Q. Why do vampires scare people? A. They are bored to death! Q. How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? A. Every night he turns into a bat. Q. What's it like to be kissed by a vampire? A. It's a pain in the neck. Q. How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? A. All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts. Q. What songs does Dracula hate? A. "You Are My Sunshine" and "Sunshine on my Shoulders. Q. What did the Mummy movie director say when the final scene was done? A. Ok, that's a wrap. Q. How does a girl vampire flirt? A. She bats her eyes. Q. What is a vampires least favorite food? A.Steak Q. What's it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A. A grave problem. Q. Why doesn't anybody like Dracula? A. He has a bat temper. Q. Why did Dracula go to the dentist? A. He had a fang-ache. Q. Why are vampires like false teeth? A. They all come out at night. Q. Who does Dracula get letters from? A. His fang club. Q. What kind of key does a skeleton use? A. A skeleton key. Q. What kind of gum do ghosts chew? A. Boo Boo Gum. Q. Why did Dracula take cold medicine? A. To stop his coffin. Q. Why does Dracula wear patent leather shoes? A. Sandals don't look good with his tuxedo. Q. How do you keep a monster from biting his nails? A. Give him screws. Q. What can't you give the headless horseman? A. A headache. Q. Why did the headless horseman go into business? A. He wanted to get ahead in life. Q. What is a ghosts favorite sale? A. A white sale. Q. What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party? A. A boo-tie. Q. What's a ghosts favorite desert? A. Boo-berry pie. Q. What type of dog does every vampire have? A. Bloodhound! Q. What's a monsters favorite desert? A. I-Scream!! Q. 1ST PERSON: KOCK,KOCK 2ND PERSON: WHO'S THERE 1ST PERSON: PHILLIP 2ND PERSON: PHILLIP WHO ? 1ST PERSON: ÊFILL UP MY BAG WITH CANDY !!! 2ND PERSON: HA,HA,HA (LOL) Q. Why do girl ghosts go on diets? A. So they can keep their ghoulish figures. Q. When does a ghost have breakfast? A. In the moaning. Q. What do ghosts drink at breakfast? A. Coffee with scream and sugar. Q. Where does a ghost go on vacation? A. Mali-boo. Q. Where does a ghost go on Saturday night? A. Anywhere where he can boo-gie. Q. Where did the ghost get it's hair done? A: At the boo-ty shop. Q. Riddle: the maker does not want, it the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it, what is it? A. a coffin. Q. What do they teach in witching school? A. Spelling. Q. Why does a witch ride a broom? A. Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord. Q. What do you call a witch's garage? A. A broom closet. Q. What do you call two witches living together? A. Broommates. Q. Why don't mummies take vacations? A. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind. Q. What is a witch's favorite subject in school? A. Spelling Q: Why can't Boy Ghosts make babies?? A: Because they have Hollow-Weenies! Q. Why did the man with a knife in his head cross the street? A. He was dying to get to the other side!! Q. Where do ghosts go out? A. Where they can get boooooo-ze. Q. Where do ghosts go out? A. Where they can get sheet-faced. Q. What did the mother ghost say to her kids in the car? A. Fasten your sheet belts. Q. Why didn't the skeleton go to see a scary movie? A. He didn't have the guts. Q. What did the corpse' mom do when her son was bad? A. Ground him Q. Why was the mummy so tense? A. Because he was all wound up. Q. Why did the vampire need mouthwash? A. Because he had bat breath. Q. Why don't ghost have bands? A. They get booooooooooed. Q. What do you call a monster who poisons corn flakes? A. A cereal killer. Q. Who are some of the werewolves cousins? A. The whatwolves, the whowolves and the when wolves. Q. What did the bird say on Halloween? A. Trick or tweet! Q. Why do skeletons drink milk? A. To help their bones! Q. What's a Vampire's least favourate song? A. Another one bites the dust! Q. What is a Skeleton's favorite song. A. Bad to the Bone Q. Whats a ghost's favorate type of car? A. A boo-ick Q. Where do ghost go for fun? A. To the boo-vies Q. What's a skeletons favorite part of the house? A. the living room Q. What did the teenage witch ask her mother on Haloween? A. Can i have the keys to the broom tonight. Q. What do u get when theres a witch in the desert? A. You get a sandwich. W. Why do ghosts like to ride elevators? A.it raises their spirits. Q. Why can't a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He's all bone & no muscle. Q. What is a vamire's favorite fruit? A: A necktarine Q. What do the skeletons say be for eating? A. Bone appetite Q. What do gosts call there girl friends? A. There goul friends. Q. How did the ghost say goodbye to the vampire? A. So long sucker! Q. What did the goblin say to the witch? A. I don't know you tell me! Q. Why dident the skeleten go to the halloween party? A. Becuse he had no body to go with. Q. What is a ghost's favorite band? A. The Boos Brothers Q. What did Dracula have for dessert? A. Whine & Ice scream Q. What is Dracula's favorite restaraunt? A. Murder King Q. What is a Ghost's favorite food? A. HamBoogers Q. What is in a ghost's nose? A. Boogers Q. What was the mummies' vacation like? A. Nobody knows. They were too wrapped up to tell us. Q: What did tha boy ghost say to the girl ghost? A: You are the most booooooooo-tiful thing I have ever seen! Q. Why does a cemetery have to keep a fence around it? A. Because people are dying to get in. Q. What do you give to a pumpkin who is trying to quit smoking? A. A pumpkin patch!!! Q. Where do vampires keep their money? A: The blood bank!!! Q. Who are some of the were-wolves cousins? A. The what-wolves and when-wolves. Q. What did Dracula say after reading all these jokes? A. They suck! (or they bite!)

WHEN OJ DIES

One day in the future, OJ Simpson has a heart-attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." OJ thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he dove in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell. "No," OJ said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and I don't think I could do that all day long." The devil led him to the door of the next room. In it was Al Gore with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, this is no good; I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented OJ. The devil opened a third door. Through it, OJ saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. OJ looked at this in shocked dis belief, and finally said, "Yeah man, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said . . . . . (This is priceless) "OK, Monica, you're free to go."

statues

There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life The angel tells them, "As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most." He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery. The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing. The angel tells them, "Um, you have fifteen minutes left, "Would you care to do it again?" He asks her "Shall we?" She eagerly replies, "Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions. This time, I'll hold the pigeon down and you poop on its head." ...... AND WHAT WERE YOU.... THINKING

DO NOT CALL LIST

Do Not Call list about to expire Restrictions that keep telemarketers from pestering you at home could end as early as next summer -- unless you register your phone number again. By Liz Pulliam Weston Humorist Dave Barry got it absolutely right when he called the federal Do Not Call list "the most popular federal concept since the Elvis stamp." There's no red-state, blue-state divide on the list, which prohibits telemarketers from bothering folks who have registered their phone numbers. Republican or Democrat, Libertarian or Green Party member, everybody detests telemarketers -- except, of course, telemarketers themselves, who were just about the only voices in opposition to the list's creation. The numbers speak for themselves: 10 million phone numbers were registered within four days of the list's opening on June 27, 2003. 30 million numbers were signed up within 40 days. 63 million were registered in the list's first year. Currently, 149 million phone numbers are on the federal Do Not Call list. Imperfect but better than the calls The feds can't claim total success. There are still telemarketers out there skirting, bending and outright ignoring the law. The Federal Trade Commission has brought more than two dozen enforcement actions against companies large and small. The Federal Communications Commission has issued dozens of citations regarding violations and announced consent decrees with several companies, including T-Mobile and AT&T. The federal Do Not Call law also has some fairly big loopholes. It doesn't apply to: Charities. Politicians. Survey takers. Companies that have a prior business relationship with you. But all in all, there's little doubt that the federal Do Not Call list has made dinnertimes much quieter across the nation. The government's Do Not Call list has kept telemarketers at bay, but companies are making an all-out push to start calling again. There's just one problem: Registration of your number on the Do Not Call list isn't permanent. After five years, the ban on calling your number is lifted unless you renew your registration. That means a whole lot of folks are going to start hearing from telemarketers next summer unless they take action. Act now? Not so fast I recently renewed the registration of all our phone numbers at the DoNotCall.gov Web site, but then I spoke to FTC spokesman Mitch Katz, who recommends waiting until next summer. He made a good point: By renewing now, you shave at least a year off the protection time you'd otherwise get. If you were one of the early sign-ups, as I was, you'd get protection until summer 2013 if you renew in 2008, when the current five-year period expires. By renewing this year, I'd be protected only until 2012. Then again, you might not care, particularly if the penalty for forgetting to renew is having to talk to some jerk about time shares. So either go re-register now at DoNotCall.gov or at least check the site to see when your registration expires and make a note on your calendar to renew then. If you want to protect yourself from marketing invasions, there are other actions you can take as well: Opt out. You can cut down on the credit card offers clogging your mailbox by registering with the opt-out service run by the major credit bureaus. Visit OptOutPrescreen.com or call 1-888-5-OPT-OUT (1-888-567-8688); be prepared to key in your Social Security number and date of birth. You'll have the option of removing your name either for five years or permanently from pre-screened marketing lists sold to credit card companies and insurers. You can also prevent financial institutions and other companies from sharing or selling information about you. Look for the privacy notices that should come with your statements at least once a year, and follow their instructions. You should have to opt out only once with each institution. Get off junk-mail lists. The Direct Marketing Association will help you scrub your name and address from its members' mailing list. This won't eliminate junk mail, because many direct mailers aren't association members, but you should see a reduction. The association now charges $1 for the service, whether you register by mail or online. For details, check out its Web site. Can the catalogs. We're heading into the extended holiday season, which means retailers will be carpet-bombing us with catalogs. Save a tree and your sanity by calling a halt. You've got several options: Call each retailer's toll-free number and request to be taken off its list. It's helpful to have the customer number from your mailing label. Tear off the page with the mailing label and mail it to the retailer with a request to be removed from its mailing list. Use a service such as StopTheJunkMail.com, which does the heavy lifting for you. I started using this service last year, which for $19.95 annually will help you get off catalog mailing lists, and have been pleased with the results. You set up an account and enter the relevant information from each catalog as it arrives; the service takes care of the rest. Get picky about sharing your information. Every time you order something online, check the site's privacy policy. Avoid sites that don't let you opt out of advertising or arrangements to share or sell your information with others. Also, uncheck any boxes that allow the retailer to spam you or share your data. Be wary about signing up for freebies, sweepstakes or contests, online or off, because many are simply ploys to collect contact information for marketing purposes. The government's Do Not Call list has kept telemarketers at bay, but companies are making an all-out push to start calling again. Freeze your credit. This is a pretty drastic step and probably best reserved for identity-theft victims and those at high risk of identity theft. (See "Lock away your credit from ID thieves" for details.) But freezing your credit also has the side effect of reducing marketing offers from lenders, insurers and others, since typically they can't peruse your credit. So far, 39 states and the District of Columbia allow residents to lock up access to their credit reports and credit scores, although in some states the option is limited to ID-theft victims only. For a list of states and their requirements, visit the Consumers Union site, FinancialPrivacyNow.org. Recently, TransUnion announced a service that would allow anyone in the country to freeze his or her own report at the credit bureau for $10, starting in October. Subscribers to TransUnion's TrueCredit.com monitoring service for $14.95 a month already have this ability to lock and unlock their credit. The other two credit bureaus, Experian and Equifax, are likely to follow soon with a similar nationwide freeze option.

Love

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Always tell your loved ones everyday U love them ...U may never get another chance too

FAKE ASS FRIENDS

People are too fake on here. They only want pic comments, or to see how many friends they can get. So let's see who will actually repost this. This is to see who's paying attention. This is a test to see how many people in my friends list actually pay attention to me. Copy and repost in your own bulletin. Let's see who the true friends are and I think I know who you are... Repost this if you are a friend...Don't reply... just copy and paste this in a new bulletin as "fake ass friends"
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