if i could be closer i would be. i don't want to leave. i dream at night and i wake up and you're not there. just a puddle of blood and the gates of the damned are screaming and the air is so cold and thick with shadows and i huddle up in a ball but then i'm in a bright white room and my head feels like it will explode and i'm rocking, rocking, rocking...and then i see myself no eyes, just gaping black holes and my mouth is sewn shut and there's a jagged bleeding hole in my chest and my heart's not there any more and there's this pain like being damned for the first time like losing your soul for the first time...and then i wake up for real and you're lying there, sometimes asleep, sometimes in between.
i love you. i think about the times im lying there and i pull you close and kiss your cheek...listen to your heart and breath...touch your face and you're sleeping...look like an angel. it's so soon and it has to start again and i'm hating it because i don't want to be stuck there. i don't even want to go. but i know i will be back soon and it's always that thought and your smile and the memories that make it bearable. i love you angel. let's hold each other close and make the world stop for just a day...just a day.
