DOGAHOLICS ANONYMOUS
Good Day. My name is ToyfulSweetartMavMOM and I AM a dogaholic I would like to
welcome all of you to this month's meeting of "Dogaholics Anonymous. Some
of you are here tonight because a friend or relative brought you here. You
may be sitting here thinking that you are OK and that you really don't need
any help. It is not easy to admit that you are a dogaholic and it is even
harder to bring yourself to a DAA meeting for help.
DAA is here to assist you.
I have some questions to ask. If you can answer YES to more than three of
the following, you have come to the right place.
Can you say "Bitch" in public without blushing?
Do you drive a station wagon, van or 4x4 when everyone else drives a real
car?
Do you have more than one car? One for you and one for the dogs?
Do you spend your vacations and holidays going to shows, specialties and
seminars when everyone else goes on a cruise?
If you do go overseas, is it to London in March to attend Crufts?
Do you discuss things at the dinner table that would make most doctors
leave in disgust?
Do you consider formal wear to be clean jeans and freshly washed tennis
shoes?
Is your interior decorator R.C. Steele?
Was your furniture and carpeting chosen to match your dogs?
Are your end table really dog crates with tablecloths thrown over them?
Do you know the meaning of CD, CDX, UD, CGC, HIC,WC, JH, MH, CH, and OTCH?
Is your mail made up primarily of dog catalogs, dog magazines and premium
lists?
Do you get up before dawn to go to Training Classes? Dog Shows?
Seminars?
If you do have dresses, do they all have pockets?
Do those pockets often contain freeze dried liver, Rollover or squeaky
toys?
When you meet a new person do you always ask them what kind of dog they
have and pity them if they don't have one?
Do you remember the name of their dog sooner than you remember their name?
Do you find non dog people boring?
If you answered YES to one of the above, there is still hope.
If you answered YES to two, you are in serious trouble.
If you answered YES to three or more, you have come to the right place.
My advise to all of you with three or more YES's is to sit back and
smile, turn to the smiling person next to you and know that your life will
always be filled with good friends and good dogs and it will never be
boring.