I cant control my stress and today im alone with mom. She wont listen to me and wants to decorate and refuses to lay down...Shes not absolutly no stength to walk today, so i've been trying to carry her all over. And she has a bell that she rings when she needs our help...she wont ring it and i keep finding her in the floor when i check on her cause she wants to do something simple...like find a magazine. I know people say im not a horrible person for the way i react. . . but im alone today and my shoulder is killing me so bad and i slipped up and screamed at her. I told her i hoped she fell because i wasnt gonna go help her anymore. I know she just wants things clean and stuff but i got all the laundry going, im folding it all, doing dishes, trying to clean up, and now she wants the christmas decorations up. So im gonna get off here for a while and go drag those out, i feel terrible for screaming, and i did go back and get her out of the chair and walk her to bed...So i cant buy her anything for christmas, anyone got any ideas of things i could do for her..something special, other than the usual following her around the house and waiting on her. With no job, no money so im outa ideas heh. I think im gonna go all out this afternoon putting stuff up, i hope that cheers everyone in the house up, no one around here is havin a good season heh but for those that talk to me on the shout box, im sorry i never reply, im just never in the room when i am here. I'm sorry i really am, i hope you understand, but anytime your on say hi and if i am there i promise i respond if i see it. Love you guys, your the best, hope your having a good week.
