I dunno if I really believe in love anymore.
*GASP!*
*SHUDDER!!*
*SWOOOOOOOON!*
See, when I thought I was in love, I really determined that it was a trick of the mind to put up with bullshit to increase my liklihood of reproducing.
If that was the drug I exprienced when EVERY day was an uphill battle... then I dare say
Love is a farce.
I've never REALLY been in love, though I have loved others. If that makes sense. See, loving someone is looking out for them, putting their needs first... I do that shit all the time. But being in love...
fuck, we're talking about some previously unexperienced amount of respect and trust here.
I've never met my equal.
God... that's a shitty thing to say.
But its true. I have never met my perfect equal match. Someone I can give my MIND to, not just my "heart" (hormone soaked cerebrum) to.
I've had the martyr/saviour complex.
I've been a good "husband".
I've felt the infatuation, the attraction.
The respect has rarely been there.
I dunno kids... that love thing... she'd have to be a hell of a girl. Heh, funny thing is, whenever I meet a girl that's my intellectual or professional better...
HO MAN
I fall hard. Even if she's kind of an uggo.
But these ladies usually fall in the 30+ age category.
When people ask me about my perfect woman, I often mention purely social or intellectual factors meanwhile my cousin Chris will combine various body parts and facial features and chauvanistic stereotypical bullshit of famous women.
To be honest, I wanna date a classically trained performing musician. I'll handle the cooking, if you do the dishes.
I know how easilly I can fall into the trap of love. I can "love" anyone, and get stuck... when my brain is just giving me a pleasant illusion to live. Its scary really... seeing what my lonely mind was capable of.
Also, Is it wrong that I've got a major crush on the boss of my boss? ... I didn't catch whether or not if she was married. :D
She's probably over 33. ... ew.
Thoughts of the moment:
I think I'm finally ready to date again.. but where to begin is the bitch.
I need more hours at work.
I need a different job.
My lip hurts because my dog clocked me in the mouth for trying to bathe her.
... she was gettin pretty sticky, but you try getting a dog that weighs more than you to do something she REALLY doesn't wanna do.
Also- my non-biological grandmother's cousin is dead.
... ... yeah, I'm pretty sure I have to go to that funeral. Woo...
*shrugs*
I'm gonna let Mr. Reznor handle the rest.
This is all the time we have.
