CuteButPsycho's blog: "I just don't know..."

Well yesterday I had a total meltdown over what's been happenin' in my house with my dogs. I felt like I needed to find a new home for Jesse to alleviate some stress from my family, from him as well as the other dogs. I really don't need my sweet boy turning into Cujo because his sister is in heat. He is such a good boy under normal circumstances. So one of the girls I go to school with , her grandfather ....who is 86 years old love beagles and still hunts. So that's where he went. He lives right accross the street so i can see him but I think I'm debating on leaving him alone for a while so he gets used to the idea of being there. I hope it all works out. He has always treated all his other dogs well and they live to be old and die of old age....not abuse. So Just keep good thoughts for Jesse, that he transitions well into his new environment.

Those of you that have chatted with me know that I am a very busy woman. I am a mother of a teenage daughter, I have a boyfriend, I have three classes this semester, work 20hrs a week at the school, 25 hrs a week at the video store, and I have five beautiful beagles. And damn it if you haven't seen their pictures yet you better get your ass over there to see them!!! Anyway,I have Daisey, the mother to Emma,Ziggy,and Jesse and then there's Cooter. They are all my favorites for different reasons. Being a Sagittarius and having the need to be needed, the desire to help and fix and love everything and everyone...I have succeeded in outdoing myself. Jesse is a sweet boy, the pups are all almost 16 months old. Jesse is kissy and lovey.....and then BAMMM he turns into Cujo!! Why? Because of me. I provide them with the best of everything, love , toys, blanket, top of the line food....you name it they get it. They all get individual attention from me too. Yes believe it or not I do have time for that. They all love to snuggle under blankets and all fight to get with me .....do I love them all too much? I have fought for Jesse's life more than twice, he has cost me alot of money over and above all the regular stuff. I guess my thing is this. He got into it with Ziggy this morning and I just cried and cried. I was trying to find a no kill shelter to take him so that he would have a chance to go to a loving home where he could be #1 instead of 1 out of five. I love that dog to pieces, but I don't want his temperament to continue to change or change that of the other dogs. I want him to be happy and healthy. He usually is here.....I just feel like I fucked up somehow and I feel like a piece of shit. I feel guilty for even thinking about him having to transition to another home. They're not just dogs to me. They are my furry kids and I love them bunches.It just sucks to think that with all I do that I may have to give him up to make it better for all of them.

Just wanted to let everyone know that if I suddenly seem to have fallen off the face of the earth, not to panic, I haven't....or at least I hope not :) This semester I am taking College writing,Intro to Sociology, and Intro. to Human Services. I am also still working at the school 20 hrs a week and now have yet another job at a local video store (conveniently next door to Dunkins Woot Woot) where I work about 16-20 hrs a week....so my time is limited. I intend to continue my espresso time, my mornings are like most peoples afternoon. This is my down time before all the craziness begins. I love to chat with my friends on Fubar and other places during this time. So please keep me in your thoughts and if you don't here from me in awhile don't take it personal....drop me a comment ect...I love that as we all do :) Hope you all have a great week! Bites and kisses, Cheri

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