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Punishment as a way of Absolution and Forgiveness

Another aspect of being “punished” is that it allows her to let go of any self-imposed “guilt” over her behavior.   This is especially important for those women who strive to be perfect and have the tendency to be self-critical.   This can be compounded if she was raised in an environment where past mistakes were never forgotten but were continually brought to her attention.   When she is punished, she can face her mistake, accept her punishment as a motivation to improve (not for being “bad”), be completely forgiven and then to happily move on.

Some Cautions over Punishment Spankings

Since a punishment spanking is going to be harder for her to endure than one given for pleasure, you want to be sure she is in the right mental head space for taking one.   In other words, she must feel the spanking is deserved, so my advice here is never punish her for something left unclear.   Make your rules very clear and specific so she knows *exactly* when she is breaking them.   If it helps, set time deadlines so she can’t claim she was “just going to do it.”   Another caution here about being consistent.   If you punished her one week for breaking a rule and let the same infraction go the next, you are giving her very mixed and confusing signals which will make it difficult for her to take your control seriously, and this will have very negative consequences to both your roles.   She will need to test you until she feels secure you are going to follow through so *be consistent* – this is extremely important.

Preparing her for Punishment

A punishment spanking is often more filled with ritual than most any other scene and draws very much on her anticipation of an event that she knows will be a test and challenge to her.   Sending to her room to await you should excite her greatly even though she knows the spanking may not be that enjoyable.   Making *her* fetch the implement used in her correction is an added erotic embarrassment.   You may want to have her strip in advance and go to the corner to reflect upon her infraction and what steps she is going to take in the future to avoid a similar lapse.   Or, you may want to have her place herself face down on the bed with a pillow under her hips and paddle beside her.   If you want to see just how exciting the anticipation of a punishment can be, have her wait at least 10 minutes before you come into the room and then check her for wetness.

You may want to lecture her on her behavior, emphasizing *exactly* what she did to earn this correction, and during the spanking itself, pause several times and give her the chance to promise better behavior in the future.   This is important as it keep the emphasis on the punishment as motivation to improve her behavior and not because she was “bad” or displeased you for not getting it done.

The focus of a punishment spanking is less on her pleasure (even though it will at least initially be very exciting) so you may want to give her less of a warm up than usual before increasing the intensity of the spanking.   If you tell her in advance how many strokes she is to be given it may help her to endure the spanking knowing when the end will come.   If this is the second spanking for the same offense, be sure to increase the number of spanks so she gets the idea that a future lapse will be met with more severity.

As further confirmation of your roles, after the spanking she should thank you for taking the time and effort to discipline her, and then it’s up to you if you want to ravish her or send her to the corner!   The point I’m making here is that even though this is “punishment” there’s no reason it can’t end in pleasure for her.   After all, she has been “punished” and all is forgiven.

Some alternate punishments may be requiring her to write a certain number of punishment lines.   This is more of a childhood punishment but is very effective as it has less eroticism connected with it than a spanking.

How to enjoy your slave (in ways she or she’ll love)

Here are some suggestions on how to enjoy your slavegirl, get your way, and at the same time emphasize the depths of her submission.

Exploring Embarrassment

One wonderful aspect of d/s is that it lets you explore so many emotions in safety.   When done with love and care, embarrassing your slavegirl can be an extremely intense experience for her and one that will make her feel very controlled.   When you give her an embarrassing task and she obeys, it is a way you can both feel the strength of your respective roles.   Her obedience in being embarrassed proves to you both that she is your slavegirl and will do whatever you ask of her.   As her Master, you want to think of as many ways as possible to demonstrate this and you will feel that your control of her is as complete as possible.   Many ideas for increasing the depths of her submission utilize embarrassment in one form or another.   One point to keep in mind is not to intrude upon the privacy of other people who do not understand the kinds of exploration that goes on in a d/s relationship.   Be creative and you will find many ways she can be thoroughly embarrassed in front of others while being the only one that knows the real reason she is acting as she is.

Positions

There is a direct connection between your subs physical position and her mental/emotional state.   Kneeling before you will instantly put her in a submissive state.   Have fun exploring positions and be sure she maintains the proper position and keeps good posture at all times.   If you are relaxing on the couch reading or watching TV, call her over to you, perhaps you will use a “pet” name for her as a signal that she is now your slavegirl and has no choice but to obey.   Tell her to kneel at your feet for awhile and that she is not to move or speak until given permission.   Have her pay attention to her posture, and if she slouches give her a correction of some kind.   Perhaps putting her over your lap for a few quick spanks before having her resume her position or by simply giving her nipples a few pinches.   Of course, the next time she gets careless with her posture, the correction will be a bit stronger.   In this way, she will know that she is there just for you and that though you don’t feel it necessary to be actively engaged with her, she also knows that you are paying attention to her and are enjoying her company.

Another suggestion would be to put her on shoulders and knees in front of you and bare her bottom.   She is your slavegirl and if you want to enjoy her feminine charms you may at any time.   You might also tell her to reach back and spread her cheeks so you can better enjoy the sight of your little pleasure slave.   If you wish, tease her a little with some caresses and then go back to your book or television program.

One of my favorite activities is to have a crop handy and on occasion to give her a few nice swats for no reason other than you enjoy seeing a few stripes on her cheeks.   She will LOVE this and it makes clear that you enjoy giving her these sensations as much as she loves receiving them.   I’m sure you will notice an instant sexual reaction to being subject to your control in this way.   Crops are wonderful because not only can you redden her bottom with them, you can also use them to tease and caress her pussy.   Alternate a few more strokes with pleasuring her and then as a wonderful embarrassment, moisten the tip of the crop with her wetness and gently press it against her lips and have her lick it clean.   In this way, she has to admit to herself how excited she is by what you are doing to her.   You are reminding both her and yourself of how much she loves being your slavegirl and she no longer has to “hide” the intensity of her sexual reactions to being your slave.

Focusing her Attention

To send her even deeper in her submission, focus her attention.   For example, while she is still on shoulders and knees, balance the crop across her hips and tell her she is to not let it fall.   So now, not only is she in this sexual and submissive position, but she must concentrate on obeying *your* command and this lets her focus on you and allows her to demonstrate just how important obeying you is to her.   Of course, I don’t need to tell you what should happen if she does squirm and let’s the crop fall, do I?   The only question here is does she get just six strokes or twelve?   A very erotic example of focusing her attention is to instruct her to keep her nipples hard for you during a specific playtime.

Focusing her attention on you is very important for it let’s her draw on her real desire to please you by being a good slavegirl.   This is both a challenge to her and also something she very much wants to do.   Much of the formality of d/s is to find ways you can both very clearly express your care for each other.

A Sweet Torment

Another very exciting idea is to place her in this shoulders and knees position and to play with her sexually.   Enjoy her slight moans of pleasure for awhile and then firmly tell her she is not to make any sound at all as you continue to tease and caress her.   Be very clear that if she breaks your rule, there will be a consequence… Such a sweet torment, isn’t it?   If she reaches the level of excitement where she does let a moan of pleasure escape her, you have the choice of going back to your book for a time leaving her to await your touch or to “punish” her with a nice spanking before resuming.   This is the kind of spanking that I personally love the most.   It is a “punishment” for moaning, but it is also for her pleasure and yours.   Of course, the spanking will only excite her all the more and make it even more difficult to keep silent as you instructed – but that’s the whole idea!

Ice

Since I like this image so much, I’ll continue a bit further!   The next time she moans, have her bring you some ice cubes and then get back in position.   If her bottom is sufficiently warm at this point slowly rub the ice cube over her reddened cheeks.   For many women, this is an exquisite sensation.   Just a quick aside here… this is a good example of something she may *want* to experience but cannot ask for.   This is where your strength, initiative and creativity as a Master all come into play.   Don’t be afraid to experiment with giving her new sensations.

As the ice becomes smoother, rub it slowly over her inner lips and pussy.   You may chose to insert it into her vagina or if it is sufficiently small and smooth slide it slowly into her tight little bottom.

Asking Permission

Another way you can constantly remind her that she is under your control is by having her ask your permission.   The more of her own independent action is restricted, the more her submission will increase.   One example that emphasizes this as well as serving as a subtle embarrassment is to have her ask your permission to visit the bathroom.   This touches upon the idea of her losing certain personal privacies which can increase the intimate bond between you both.   If she blushes, it’s a good sign!

If you take her out to a restaurant take away her menu and decide on her meal yourself.   This will not only increase her submission to you, but also relieves her of having to make a decision for herself.

Another very romantic and even more embarrassing experience for her would be to order nothing for her and then feed her from your own plate.   From time to time, place a tasty morsel on your fork and have her lean forward to take it from your hand.   I think this is a very sweet way for her to feel close and dependent upon you.

It’s very common not to allow a sub to climax without first being given permission.   She is “allowed” pleasure only upon your command which will emphasize your control over her.   It also increases the anticipation of finally being given permission which can hold her on the edge of a climax for an extended period which will build its intensity.

Not only may she not climax without permission, but she may not even be allowed to touch herself without permission.   By setting this rule for her, you are making her admit her desire to touch herself by asking for your permission which is also a way for you to know how excited she has become by your commands.

You may want to try holding her right at the edge of a climax and then order her to come for you in a commanding tone of voice.   You may find this has a remarkable effect.   Some women have the ability to be trained to climax on command and there are various techniques that can be used to accomplish this though I won’t go into them in this document.

Pulling her Hair

One very *hot* erotic trigger for many subs is having their hair pulled.   Not in a hurtful way, but as a very sensual experience.   For many women, this can be an extremely powerful turn on and you may be surprised by her reaction.   Call her over to you and caress her hair for a moment before gathering it up in your hands before firmly pulling her face toward you for a passionate kiss – she will melt in a puddle on the floor!

Treating her as a Cherished Pet

Many submissive women love being treated as a pet.   We all know how much love and attention our pets receive and it should be thrillingly embarrassing and sweet – not at all degrading.   Pet’s are often kept on a collar and leash too, aren’t they?   Try this on a special evening together.   Have her undress and kneel before you.   Tell her she is to be your pet for the evening and lovingly place her collar upon her and attach her leash to it.   Tell her she is to be your sweet little kitty and is not allowed to speak unless given permission.   Instead, she must meow and purr to you.

One very erotic idea is to have her purr and meow for you as you caress her.   Perhaps, if your loved pet is in “heat”, have her rub her little pussy against your leg as a way of begging for more attention.   Be sure to bring her to a climax while allowing only mews of pleasure…

It is an incredible feeling to have a woman you love and who loves you napping at your feet while you hold her leash in your hand.   Make a little nest of pillows and blankets in a corner and make that her special place.   As a pet, she is not allowed to stand or to use the furniture.   Perhaps you’ll put out a little saucer of milk for her to lap…

A theme such is this gets very much into role-play which can be a wonderful escape from the stress of your lives.   It is a unique time when you can forget about being adults and return to the innocent and creative play of children.

Like all my writings, this is more for myself than anyone else.   Dominance and submission (D/s) has always been a part of my life, both my greatest torment when not understood by either myself and those I shared my thoughts with, and finally the source of greatest contentment and pride when I finally realized how beautiful and loving an exchange it is.   In a way, it is impossible to describe or explain it to another unless that person has the creativity and capacity to see its full potential to draw two people so close together that *everything* they have inside of them can be revealed and that is when they can be loved unconditionally and completely.

The only rule to d/s is that there are no rules.   What each sub wants is different and takes varying forms.   I am writing this with a particular sub in mind, and that is the kind of woman who is so full of love that she longs to give herself unreservedly to her Master.   It is written for those women who want to be a full-time slavegirl, who enjoy the sensual pleasures of being spanked (and more!) and who want to be disciplined when they do not meet their own personal goals and the guidelines for behaviour set by their Master.