CountryAngel's blog: "I got flowers today"

Days have passed since I felt the wind upon my face.

Days will come before I will see reality.

But I am ready.

I have worked my way out of this depression.

I have slept through my days of not living up to my own standards.

Too busy worried about others, now it is my turn.

I will be better.  I will say NO.

I will survive.

I am waking up.

Sometimes the world seems as though it wasn't made for me.

I exist nothing special.

Why am I here?

I wonder?

I am alone.

I can't seem to do anything right.

I am good as long as I am doing for others.  But not for myself.

I try to make everyone happy and can't.

When will I be reconized for what I am?

It will happen, but until that day comes, I will create my own world.

A world of peace, where I am soneone.

Where I can be myself and that will be enough.

Where I don't have to give more than I have.

Where I can be surrounded by people who really love me.

A place where I can live out my fantasies and dreams without remorse.

A place to go and pretend all is well.

A place to call my great escape.

Until tomorrow I'll swallow my pride

Until tomorrow I'll hhide all my sorrow inside

Until tomorrow I'll deal with the lies

Until tomorrow I'll grow shorter in size

Until tomorrow when all has been said and done

Until tomorrow I'll know lif's battle, I never won

Until tomorrow when life's end is at hand

Until tomorrow just burry me deep beneith the golden sand

Until tomorrow I have taken all I could take

Until tomorrow I'll know my life was a mistake.

Hush now, don't you cry

wipe away the teardrop from your eye.

Yo're lying safe in bed

It was all a bad dream

spinning in your head.

Your mind tricked you to feel the pain of someone close to you leaving the game of life.

So here it is, another chance

wide awake you face the day.

Your dream is over.... or has it jus begun.

Theres a place I like to hide

a doorway that I run through in the night

Relax child, you were there

But only didn't realize it and you were scared

It's a place where you will learn

To face your fears, retrace the years

And ride the whims of your mind.

Commanding in another world

Suddenly, you hear and see

This magic new dimention.

I will be watching over you

I am gonna help you see it through

I will protect you in the night

I am smiling next to you.... in silent lutidity

If you open your mind for me

You won't rely on open eyes to see

The walls you built within

come tumbling down and a new world will begin.

Living twice at once you learn

you're safe from pain in the dream domain

A soul set free to fly

A round trip journey in your head

Master of illusion, can you realize

Your dream's alive, you can be the guide but...

I will be watching over you.

I am gonna help you see it through

I will protect you in the night

I am smiling next to you....

I Got Flowers Today

I got flowers today.
It wasn't my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night,
And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me.
I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said.
Because he sent me flowers today.
 

I got flowers today.
It wasn't our anniversary any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare.
I couldn't believe it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today,
and it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day.
Last night, he beat me up again.
And it was much worse than all the other times.
If I leave him, what will I do?
How will I take care of my kids?
What about money?
I'm afraid of him and scared to leave.
But I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today.
Today was a very special day.
It was the day of my funeral.
Last night, he finally killed me.
He beat me to death.
If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him,
I would not have gotten flowers...today.