I have always tried and failed horribly to win friends and then more sometimes. I am sorry but I have no idea how to approach a woman and have a true relationship. Don't get me wrong I know how to get sex and I have been blessed because I have never caught anything. I am just so very tired of strictly being physical, and NEVER being good enough to be in love. I mean when someone does fall in love with me it always turns out that I am not able to be physically attracted to them as well as emotionally. Am I so wrong for not wanting to allow myself to just settle? I mean, I have tried to do the whole " Be with someone and not care about their looks " routine. I am sorry but it just never seems to work out that way. If I am not physically drawn to a woman I just cannot see myself with them for an extended period of time. I know that I am sounding shallow as anything but I cannot really help that either. Every time that I have just settled for what I could get then I ended up disappointed because I either hurt someone else's feelings or had my heart destroyed in the process. And to boot, if I happen to find a woman that I am attracted to then I have never been able to be more than just her " best friend ". My heart is dead basically. I can always enjoy sexuality with someone but I have never been able to find true love. I am sooo tired of seeing EVERYONE else finding happiness and love when it is just beyond my grip. I apologize for this blog sounding more like a sob story than anything. I just honestly want to be happy for once if that is possible.
