I feel like the worst granddaughter in the world. My Grandpa had a heart attack some time last week, the doctors are even sure when it happened. I found out on Friday night when my grandma called to tell me. I tried to be strong and not cry for her sake but I couldn't hold it in for too long. I intended to go visit him on Saturday but all I could see in my head was my grandpa hooked up to IV's and having tubes and machines hooked up and starting to get tearie eyed. It hurts to just imagine him like that. I don't want to see it. So I didn't go on Saturday. I told myself i would go today, but I couldn't bring myself to go again. I Started getting choked up and didn't want to show my weakness in front of him. From the sounds of it he is doing much better than he was when he first went in, but just talking and thinking about what could have happened makes me start to cry. I can't imagine my papa not being here. Or Maybe its that I can see it and I don't like it. I don't know but I feel like the worst grandchild in the world because i haven't gone to see him or even talked to him (hes in the ICU) I've talked to my grandma and gotten her updates about how he's doing. Now that I have successfully made myself cry for the third time today I think I'll stop writing. I hope that anyone that reads this will keep my grandpa in their prayers. Thanks
