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i dont know

i dont know every day i wake up and feel like "fuck this world" cuz i value my own life like its a ex girl... i mean its cool while it lasts but never last long enough to truly BE COOL... like travolta, i will play it but will NEVER BE the fool... im cynical to a point but i think im just a old soul... cuz i already know this shit aint coming with me so why try to set goals??? all happiness is temperary too, and u can never BE HAPPY... i dont care how lucky u feel there's shit u want, besides most just ACT sappy... they dont really care or identify with most of the shit they see... their fakeness is a plague of low self esteem and act like some shit they cant be... so yeah i guess im back to that...so im gonna drink another fifth and yack... maybe it will get out all of the poison and self destruction.... i doubt it though cuz that would take a miracle of epic proportions.... u dont have to slit ur skin for self mutilation..... u can scar ur thoughts and scare ur life into a permanent hesitation... u stand still suffering from pharmaceuticals and pills... anything to mask urself from urself its ill... the mirror no longer reflects it actually projects... a lie that u wish inside was truly u without ur debts... maybe my outlook and bank account are both negative... but i dont think people see the bigger picture life is degenerative.... tbc
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