i dont know
every day i wake up and feel like "fuck this world"
cuz i value my own life like its a ex girl...
i mean its cool while it lasts but never last long enough to truly BE COOL...
like travolta, i will play it but will NEVER BE the fool...
im cynical to a point but i think im just a old soul...
cuz i already know this shit aint coming with me so why try to set goals???
all happiness is temperary too, and u can never BE HAPPY...
i dont care how lucky u feel there's shit u want, besides most just ACT sappy...
they dont really care or identify with most of the shit they see...
their fakeness is a plague of low self esteem and act like some shit they cant be...
so yeah i guess im back to that...so im gonna drink another fifth and yack...
maybe it will get out all of the poison and self destruction....
i doubt it though cuz that would take a miracle of epic proportions....
u dont have to slit ur skin for self mutilation.....
u can scar ur thoughts and scare ur life into a permanent hesitation...
u stand still suffering from pharmaceuticals and pills...
anything to mask urself from urself its ill...
the mirror no longer reflects it actually projects...
a lie that u wish inside was truly u without ur debts...
maybe my outlook and bank account are both negative...
but i dont think people see the bigger picture life is degenerative....
tbc