1. "You Were An Accident"
2. "Strangers Have the Best Candy"
3. "The Little Sissy Who Snitched"
4. "Some Kittens Can Fly"
5. "Getting More Chocolate On Your Face"
6. "Where Would You Like To Be Buried?"
7. "Kathy Was So Bad Her Mommy Stopped Loving Her"
8. "The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North Amer - Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!"
9. "All Dogs Go To Hell"
10. "The Kids' Guide To Hitchhiking"
11. "When Mommy And Daddy Don't Know the Answer They Say God Did It"
12. "Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia"
13. "What Is That Dog Doing To That Other Dog?"
14. "Why Can't Mr. Fork and Miss Electrical Outlet Be Friends?"
15. "Bi-Curious George"
16. "Daddy Drinks Because You Cry"
17. "Mr. Policeman Eats His Service Revolver"
18. "You Are Different And That's Bad"
19. "Daddy's New Wife Timothy"
20. "Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games"
21. "Testing Homemade Parachutes With Your Own Household Pets"
22. "The Hardy Boys, The Barbie Twins, And The Vice Squad"
23. "Babar Meets the Taxidermist"
24. "Curious George and the High-Voltage Wires"
25. "The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables"
26. "The Pop-Up Book Of Human Anatomy"
27. "Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will"
28. "The Care-Bears Maul Some Campers And Are Shot Dead"
29. "Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear"
30. "Cutlery and High Explosives Make Show-And-Tell Fun Again"
31. "Vodka and Cigarettes: Reminds Me of Moma's Kisses"
32. "Why are Mommys friends called 'Uncles'?"
