someone very very close to me decided to eat a few bottles of pills and all while i was at work and they were at home. i am crushed. they did not die, but they are sitting in a psyche ward somewhere that no one has the information to give me cos i am not "family". bullshit! i am the only family this person has here. its hurts deep inside that they didnt feel they could come talk to me. hell this person stayed 4 nights at my house last week and had thanksgiving with my family and me. i didnt even know it happend till 24 hrs after he was carted to the hospital. now i have to wait untill the hospital decides to release to know if they are ok or to hear anything. i cant function right. everything i eat tastes like cardboard. i feel useless and i dont know what to do . now because i am bi-polar ppl are here and wont leave me alone. they say i need to be around ppl so i dont go off and do something "stupid". yea i am so upset someone else treied to off themself that i am going to go do it. thats smart. for fuck sake. im tired and i cant sleep. i basically jus pulled a 12 hr shift in a kind of numb haze. least its over and i cant wait for this person to call or to get new info since i am off work now till sunday. never appricated my days off as much as this..... damn it i hope they are ok.
