well here i sit waiting to go to work and thinking about someone dear to me, who is far away. ok well actually 2 people. both i have feelings for but in different ways. 1 is an ex the other i am seeing where we will go, but both live far from me. other than family members who would have thought i could care for 2 people at once. the feelings for the ex are fading but still linger maybe because of our history and our kids, the other i met and we had a BLAST. so much so that i never wanted to end when it did, but will hopefully have more soon. oh well now i have to go to work and think about mainly 1 person til i can talk to him again!! you know who you are. sorry all i was just bored and needed to vent, but thanks for checking.
When I originally wrote this I was thinking of 2 people. now I am sitting here thinking about only 1 person in this blog. He has my heart and has since 1999,we have not been split up for too long, only about a year, I try to let him go but, somehow we always end up torn by feelings. The other person was nothing, just a way to try to push away real feelings for my kid's dad. I am not looking for anything serious right now because I am not ready to give my heart to someone else, I tell my friends I am but I am really not (I have told someone I love them but it was not love it was a fake). This may sound bad but it is true. While my ex and I are over there are times when we act like we are not, which can not continue if I am going to move on and really find someone to settle down with. Anyhow, I am just babbling lol while I wait for dinner to get done for my kids. Love is a pain in the ass and you can not control who you love or how long you love them.
