OMFG!!!!! I haven't seen Lonnie since Sunday. I can't wait until I can see him again. I miss him so much. I love him so much.
I can't stand being away from him. I don't know why I can't, but I just can't help myself. When I leave him or he leaves me it's like a piece of me is missing, and the only way that I feel whole again is when I am around him.
Its funny. I don't have to have him next to me to feel better. All we have to be is in the same building and I feel whole again. He could be in one room doing his own thing and me in another doing my thing and still feel fine. But, the moment that we are away from eachother its like a piece is gone. I can't sleep eat or breath when he is not around.
Does this mean that I am in love? Could this really be love? I hope so, but if it is not love then I hope this never ends. I don't ever want this feeling to end. I have never felt this feeling before. I thought many times that I had, and rushed into relationships and found out I was wrong. We have been together for three months now. Is it too soon to be in love? I honestly believe that this is true love. We get along so well, think alike and can finish eachother sentences. We know what eachother likes so much that when we find something that we like and know that the other likes it usually is correct. When we are upset or depressed we know exactly what to say and do to make the other feel better. We crave for eachother touch, and to be honest its not about the sex either. We are happy with just hugging, kissing and holding eachother. Don't get me wrong we like the sex too. It's just that it's not necessary for us to be happy with eachother. Were happy just snuggling on the couch watching a movie together or even with my daughter if she is home.
And thats another topic. Lonnie gets along with my kids so well. He is so awesome with my kids. It is so amazing to me on how well he is with them. They like him too. They have never liked any of my boyfriends like they do this one. My daughter is always telling us that she wants us to get married and that she wants him to be her daddy, because her daddy doesn't love her and her bubby. It is sweet of her, but it's also sad. She is only four and thinks her daddy doesn't love her. That is not right. She is too young to think like that. I know her daddy loves her, so I wish she wouldn't say that. But, on the other hand, it melts my heart when she tells Lonnie that she wants him to be her daddy. She tell him all the time that she loves him so much and wants him here everyday, and she never tells him that she hates him like she has my other boyfriends. Which is a good thing. It shows me that she really approves of my decision of who I am falling madly in love with. I have always told the guys that I have gone out with from the beginning that if my kids don't like you that no matter how much I love you it will not work. See, I am not going to let my kids happiness go for any guy. I am not going to be put in that situation. If my kids don't get along with the one I love they are out the door. I don't care. I am not like other people who let the ones they love give them an ultimatium. My kids come first. If anyone ever tells me, "It's me or your child." First thing I am going to say is fuck you asshole. I am going to choose my child. No other person is so great of a person that I am going to choose them over my child. I don't care if I am married to them or not. If I am married to them, the first place I am heading is to the court house to file for divorce and take them for everything I can. Kids are more important. They didn't ask to be put on this earth, and don't deserve to be used as a pawn in the war of love or basically for some people lack of love. They are so lonely and pathedic people that they use kids as a pawn to keep someone in their life because they are afraid to be alone. My kids didn't ask for that and don't deserve it either.
I do know though that there are people out there trying to get her to say she doesn't like him, because they want me back with my exhusband. They are also so jealous of me, because I found true love and happiness and they don't have it. As usual trying to tear me down. Well, its not going to happen.
I love Lonnie with all my heart and I know he is good with my kids and they love him too. They always want him around. So, no matter what everyone around tells them about him and gets them to say, it's not going to change anything. I am sticking with him. So, if any of you are going to try to brainwash my kids into not liking Lonnie go for it baby. God will take care of you and your deception. I leave it in his hands. I know that Lonnie and I are meant for eachother and that is the final answer. You are the weakest link! Goodbye!
Okay! Now that I got that off my chest and then some. LOL!!!!! Carley and her soapbox. LOL!!!!! It's all good. I am just tired of all the nonsense and deception and manipulating going on around me and don't care who gets mad at me when I tell them to stop it. I am putting my foot down and starting to take a stand now. I am tired of letting everyone walk all over me. No more!!!! Anyone wants to walk on me they will get messed up quickly. And as I leave you now. I want to leave you with a song. Copy and paste this link into another window and listen to No One by Alicia Keys. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktUSIJEiOug Or it looks like you can just click on the link. LOL!!!! But, listen to it all the way through. That is exactly how I feel for Lonnie and I dare anyone to try to break that up. Lonnie and I both have something to say about that. We both are not going to let you do it. So, now I am really going. I hope that you all have a great day.
