AIGHT, HAVEN'T BEEN ON FOR A FEW DAYS. I WORK AS A BOUNCER AT A STRIP CLUB THAT ON MONDAY NIGHTS LIKE TO DO A BRILLIANT THING AND MAKE DRAFT BEERS 25 CENTS. LAST WEEK A GUY GOT ANGRY THAT A GIRL WASN'T GOING TO FUCK HIM, HE BECAME ANGRY AND WHEN I WENT TO THROW HIM OUT OF THE CLUB FOR PUNCHING HER IN THE FACE HE SMASHED A BOTTLE ON A TABLE AND STABBED MY IN THE UPPER RIGHT ARM WITH IT. HE WAS VERY VERY DRUNK, AND I ENDED UP BREAKING HIS JAW WITH A FLASHLIGHT. THAT WAS LAST MONDAY. THIS MONDAY EVERYTHING WAS GOING PEACHY, LOTS OF LOUDNESS AND DRINKING, OF COURSE MIDNIGHT COMES A ROUND AND SOME MORON AT THE FRONT DOOR DOESN'T PAT DOWN A FAMILIAR LOOKING DUDE WITH A BROKEN JAW. HE PROCEEDS TO WALK UP BEHIND ME, AND STABS ME FOUR TIMES IN THE BACK AND SIDES WITH A BUTTERFLY KNIFE HE HAD WALKED IN WITH. MY BUDDY LURCH KNOCKED THE GUY OUT, AND GOT ME OUT IN FRONT OF THE CLUB WHERE THE PARAMEDICS GOT ME AND TOOK ME TO THE ER. NUMB NUTS DIDN'T HIT ANYTHING MAJOR, BUT I ENDED UP WITH 47 NEW STITCHES, GO ME!! BAD PART I GOT STABBED, GOOD PART IS THE OWNERS OF THE CLUB ARE GOING TO PAY FOR MY HOSPITAL AND PAIN PILLS. PLUS GAVE ME 5 GRAND FOR THANKS MONEY FOR KEEPING MY MOUTH SHUT ABOUT THE SLACKNEES OF THE CLUB. KINDA COOL, AND DAMN THE ATTENTION I'M GETTING FROM THE GIRLS AT THE CLUB IS ALL KINDS OF NICE. SO IF YOU EVER WANT MONEY AND MAD STRIPPER BOOTY, ANGER A DRUNK, AND GET HIM TO STAB YOU. WORKS EVERYTIME. PEACE OUT AND SHIT ALL.-BILL. P.S. NEKKID WITH NEW SCARS.
