I really am hatin the single life, i miss having someone to call your own, someone to hold, someone to love, to kiss, to wake up in the morning with, to make love to, to have all those special monents with, to buy v-day, birthday, christmas, an just because i love u gifts for, someone to spend the holidays with, to laugh at the stupid corny jokes that just arent funny, someone to miss when ur not around them, someone to hold, someone to write poem for, someone to go out with an take goofy pics with, to cook for, to travel with, go camping, go to snowboarding an ski with during the winter, someone to complete the seasons with, i guess wat i am sayin is i feel lonely, an really really miss havin someone to love.
on da other have i am kinda sacred of love now cuz everytime i seem to find it or something like it i get shitted on used an fucked, an it seems to make it harder an harder to get close to anyone or to let anyone get close to me like some kinda comment fear, i use to drank an somke bud just for fun with my friends an when i went out not i smoke or drank just to hide the pain within an sleep, its hard bein alone, sometime i ask myself wat is wrong with me? or wat am i doing wrong? is love just not 4 me, has all of the shit i have been throught in my life made me unloveable or to closed in for love? wat is it?.
An now all my plans for school an relocating has went to shit an i am back at square one i am back stayin with my dad, my car is busted, now school is all fucked up i didnt get in after all the shit i been doin all the test, gettin 31k in grants, fin aid, i got all except for the 13k all because i could get a cosigner good with good enough credit for the student loan, I cant seem to find an apt in sac of nothin within the budget i have if u have to pay on my schoolin monthly while i attend, my life seems to be movin backwards not forward not in small steps but in leaps an bounds, i am nolonger opstimistic why should i be? that shit hasnt worked for me, wat do i do?
